It’s been a while since I looked at the list of search queries which have misguided people to Electric Venom. They’re usually good for a chuckle or two (what do you expect from the #1 person for “stupid search) but today they just seem downright weird. For instance:

I’m #1 on Google for “dark ruler” even though the relevant entry just leads to Glenn, who hasn’t bothered to link me lately despite my bestowal of such a charming honorific on him. (Maybe I should whine about it for a few days? Nah. Not my style.).

On an unrelated note, I’m also #1 for idiots in the news.

I’m #185 for castration. That’s down from 9 months ago when I was #34. I must be getting mellow with age.

I’m #8 for “sex with soldiers”. Bet the Venomous Hubby has some smart remark about that one.

Looking for “hot girl on girl action”? I’m #15 on that one but only #48 for doggie style. Go figure. But, hey, if you want to learn how to film girls nude secretly at home, I’m #1. (Before you get all excited, keep in mind I’m also #1 for grandma style panties.)

Ah well. At least I remain at the top of the list for damn near perfect ass. Hmmm…. maybe that’s not such a good thing after all.

UPDATE: I take that back. Kevin has bumped me out of the #1 slot for damn near perfect ass. If we weren’t such good friends, I might have a word or two for him over that.