I’m a bit late to the American Idol pre-show. Martinis don’t appear out of thin air, after all. So, while I can’t commit to live-blogging all night, I’m going to do my best thanks to having “paid off” the Venomous Hubby last night (and the night before that).

So let’s start with the obvious, eh? The DialIdol.com forums were burning last night with snarky remarks about how many people turned out for Elliot and Taylor’s homecomings… while Kat played to a mostly unfilled high school auditorium in her hometown. “Well,” some rationalized, “she’s in L.A. where nobody pays attention to celebrities, much less wanna be stars.

Yeah, right. So explain tonight’s turn out on the red carpet, eh?

Next… Bo Derek. She’s got to be almost as old as my mother-in-law but still smoking — SMOKING! — hot. I’d hit it. Well, if I bent that way. Which I don’t. But I sure wouldn’t mind growing up to look like her.

Paula (hic) Abdul came next. Says something, IMVO, that Paula came down the red carpet after an otherwise has-been celebrity. Maybe someone saw her dress and mistook her for one of those dolls my grandmother used to perch over spare rolls of toilet paper.

Constantine? I still think he looks like Adrian’s brother in the Rocky movies.

And now we’re down to Katherine McPhee’s folks who say all the obligatory nice things about their daughter… except that she’s a phony who can’t wait to bare that $5,000 (each) boob job they bought her.

Commercial break. You know what that means, right? Yep, time to refresh the beverages while you refresh this screen because I’ll be back (right in this same entry) with more snark than you can shake a fist at. (And, oh God, please stop that before you go blind, ok?)

Meanwhile, we’re on to the finale… and a new blog entry.

Wednesday, May 24th, 2006, 6:58 pm   |   Celebrities Bite  |  RSS feed Comments and pings are currently closed.