It’s the men’s turn, and while they’re all looking rather good, my ears aren’t going to miss a few of them.

Now, before I get into blitching about the performances, let me first blitch about this homophobic thing between Ryan and Simon. It was funny, say, four seasons ago. But the longer Ryan’s been MC’ing the show — or whatever it is that he does — the more hostile and arrogant he’s become. (And, to be honest, I really don’t think of Ryan as being either a hostile or arrogant guy… unless he’s dealing with Simon.)

But what was funny four seasons ago is now, well, distracting. Ok, maybe I just haven’t forgiven Ryan for interrupting Quincy Jones two weeks ago. Let me repeat that: Ryan-My-Hair-Looks-Good-Seacrest interrupted Quincy-Freaking-Jones. The gall.

Also, has anyone else noticed that Ryan’s post-song banter is turning into the two-second interview equivalent of the kiss of death? Ask Nick, AJ, Alaina and Leslie.

Ok. Enough blitching. On to the show!

Blake: Once again, the Beat Box Boy surprised me. Like Randy, I don’t recognize the song. But — to borrow a phrase from a music show that reveals my age — it had a nice beat, I liked the melody, so I’ll give it a 100. And, as so often happens, I agree with Simon: Blake will be here next week. Want to hear him sing: Something from Sting’s world-music phase.

Sanjaya: I love John Mayer. I don’t like Sanjaya. I don’t even like his hair. And I definitely do not like what he did to John Mayer’s song. (The fact that even Paula had to struggle not to be rude says it all.) Please, America, kick this boy back to the karaoke bars he’s not old enough to get into. Want to hear him sing: Nothing. But if I must, then it ought to be James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful.”

Sundance: Ok, it’s not like Pearl Jam’s noted for singing on key, but if you’re going to do one of their tunes at least try to hit the same note Eddie sang. Unfortunately, Sundance dropped more notes than I can count. And I can count high. Nevertheless, he seemed to have committed himself more than last week, and was far more current. Still want to hear him sing: Blues Traveler!!!

Chris R.: Aw, dang. Just as I was ready to get dizzy watching him bounce across the screen he decided to go all soft and mushy, with the obligatory bar stool in the beginning. Whatever he was singing, I didn’t like it. That said, I liked his singing better this week than weeks past. Want to hear him sing: “Amazed” by Lonestar.

Jared: Man, this guy’s eyebrows bother me. As for the song… it’s a good one. Unfortunately, I’ve heard better versions of it at High Noon… without having to look at those eyebrows. Pitchy on the down notes, pitchy on his last two trills. Pitchy, pitchy, pitchy. Still want to hear him sing: Al Green’s “Tired of Being Alone.”

Brandon: Nice to hear Brandon doing something fun, and something that really should be in his range. But then he went and shoulded all over himself: too many bad notes, and he dropped the “money note.” By the end, even he looked overwhelmed by the song. Want to hear him sing: Eagle-Eye Cherry’s “Save Tonight.”

Phil: LeeAnn Rhimes? LeeAnn. Rhimes. LeeAnnRhimes. Ok, I think I’ve got that out of my system. Wait, no I didn’t. LeeAnnWhatWasHeThinkingRhimes. You know, if you watch the last two seconds of a singer and see a look on his face that Phil just shot the camera at the end of this tune, well, you don’t feel nearly so bad when you think they suck because, clearly, he knew he did. Want to hear him sing: Jefferson Starship’s Jane.

Chris Sligh: You know what? This guy’s everything I could want in an American Idol — he’s got such a fantastic dry humor, such a great range, such an energy on stage and he’s NORMAL looking! Sligh committed himself to the song (whatever it was) but, as Simon said, it wasn’t a “hooky” song. While that may sound trite, when translated it means people are going to have a hard time talking about it the rest of the week because so few folks know what the hell the song is. My ears are still happy, though. Want to hear him sing: Marc Broussard’s “Home.”

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