The men sang on American Idol tonight and, with the exception of Sanjaya, their performances were well worth tuning in for. In fact, I almost wish I had tuned in, but I was out having a wonderful time with the Devine Miss Beth and her Man Above Men husband, John. Thanks to the miracle of TiVo, the only thing I missed out on was my chance to vote. That might be a good thing, too, because I’m quite torn when it comes to choosing a favorite.

First off, let me just say that I despise the “dedication” thing the producers went for this week. They’re juvenile. Trite. I don’t give a crap who a singer’s thinking about when they pick a song, much less when they sing it. Ideally, I want to get lost in the fantasy that the singer’s merely a vicarious conduit for my thoughts, my feelings. As a listener, I want to own the emotions behind the song, and when listening to it I want to be free to attach my own dedication to it.

While I’m blitching about it, I also want to blitch over AI now demanding 5 hours per week out of my life. It’s too much. I’ve got a life, particularly during “prime time” evening hours, and I’m not going to spend it in front of a TV three nights in a row. Ergo, I TiVo it and, ergo, I listen to it for the sake of listening to it. I’ve got no dog in the hunt. By the time I get around to watching it, the phone lines are closed, so I won’t get truly into picking a favorite until we’re down to the top 10.

All in all, I have to admit the guys were FAR better this week than last. Perhaps the girls’ magnificent performances last week reminded them that this truly is a competition. After all, once the Top 10 are chosen, gender becomes irrelevant. It’s all about bringing it to the stage at that point, and they’ll need to have developed a solid fan base.

That said, it’s time to analyze the singers and their songs:

Phil – I confess, I’ve got a soft spot for 80s pop. In particular, the Baby’s still melt my heart and by implication that includes John Waite. Add in a service man dedicating his song to his wife and a blue-eyed baby-faced man confident enough in his own masculinity to shave his head and, well, what’s not to like? It was flawless pop. The kind I want to hear on my radio. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing, but I’m not complaining. Would love to hear him sing: Bohemian Rhapsody.

Jared – Marvin Gaye redux. Sexy moves. Sultry voice. That face thing. Ooooh, baby. Loved it. And yet, as with Phil, it sounded so flawless that he sounded like someone I should’ve already heard. Which means there was nothing new, and that’s what I’m hoping for. Would love to hear him sing: Al Green.

A.J. – Is it just me or does he seem to other folks like that 20-something restaurant waiter waiting to make it big in musical theater? I can envision him on stage in a Broadway production (definitely not in the “leading man” kinda role). But a recording artist with the ability to cut gold records? No. Unless he’s doing Barbra Streisand songs. Know what I mean? Would love to hear him sing: Anything masculine.

Sanjaya – Hate him. Don’t know why but I hate him, hate everything about him, hate when he’s on the screen and I hate how he sings. He’s got too much of a Michael Jackson thing going, and I don’t mean that in the talent department. Someone needs to cut his hair and give him a shot of testosterone, then let’s hear him sing. Would love to hear him sing: Nothing.

Chris – Loved him since his audition. Loved that he picked one of my favorite songs to sing tonight. Love that he did it justice. Love him, love him, love him. Would love to hear him sing: Anything.

Nick – Guy’s got a Robert Downey Jr. look to him. Got vocals. Got looks. But, frankly, half the time I’m listening to him I’m wondering whether he plucks his own eyebrows. Because there’s definitely some pluckage going on there. And if I’m busy thinking that while he sings, well, I guess that means he’s already fallen into the “muzak” category: pleasant, but not captivating. Would love to hear him sing: Sinatra.

Blake – I’m a little too old to appreciate the whole Beat Box thing, but I do like a good crooner with excellent stage presence. He’s got it. Excellent vocal control, and he looks so comfortable on stage. The versatility he demonstrated in just one song — “vocal entendre”, as he termed it — was impressive and quite refreshing. I definitely want to hear more from him… without the beat box thing. Would love to hear him sing: Matchbox 20.

Brandon – Cindy Lauper? Didn’t he take a lesson from that chick who tried singing the exact same song a couple of seasons ago, the one who’d been considered a front runner until that night? What was her name? Oh, wait: that was my point. Would love to hear him sing: Ray Charles.

The Other Chris – a/k/a the Justin Timberlake clone. This early in the season, if I’m already thinking a contestant is indistinguishable from an already-established recording artist, why would I look forward to listening to him when I can just pop Justin’s CD in my stereo now? Would love to hear him sing: Night Ranger’s “Sister Christian.”

Sundance – Guy’s got some nice pipes. Regardless of what Randy and Paula say, I wasn’t impressed. Listening to him tonight I felt like I was in a karaoke bar… without a drink. Would love to hear him sing: Blues Traveler.

Speaking of which, that’s what I hope to be doing Thursday night — karaoke, I mean. With luck I’ll talk Beth into joining me. No, I’ll never be on American Idol, but that’s probably a good thing. Simon’s snark ain’t no match for Venom.