Way back when ElectricVenom.com was in its infancy, I wrote what I then believed was a very scholarly, analytical look at Blogging Thoughts and Philosophies, dividing the blogosphere into categories based on the type of content people chose to put on their blog and the kinds of outgoing links they selected.

What an ass I was.

Four and a half years later, I think I’m just now starting to get a handle on this blogging thing. I’m starting to enjoy it. Ok, I really enjoy it, and now that I do I find it actually improves my offline life instead of merely serving as a distraction from it. What changed? Well, at some point in the past year or two I figured out a few things I didn’t quite understand before.

1. I am more than my blog.

This sounds so obvious, and yet I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read in various forums or on other folks’ blogs how they put their “heart and soul” into their blog. I used to do that, and I found that it made me constantly search for validation.

You know what I mean: you write an entry that’s a bit more personal, a bit more revealing of your inner self, and perhaps it generates a few supportive comments. Great, you think. I’ll keep doing that. So you do. You spend time on it. You labor over it. You write, edit and rewrite it then post your entry thinking, “Ah, I just know they’re going to love this!”

Then the comments don’t come. The links don’t come. And suddenly you’re wondering: what did I do wrong?

For me, as I’ve come to understand it at this point, the answer is: nothing. If you needed to write that entry and feel better for having done it then, great! That lack of comments isn’t a negative statement about you. Perhaps you wrote such an excellent piece that no one feels the need to critique it? Or perhaps, just perhaps, you’ve spent too much time on the damn thing.

2. My blog is an ongoing conversation with my readers.

At some point I realized that most of my readers come here for one reason: to find out what’s on my mind today. Were we face-to-face, I’d probably tell them about the news story I just heard, maybe about something annoying that happened during my day. They’d respond with similar things, and perhaps I’d bring up something I’d read about that I know is a topic they’re interested in.

Blogging for me is not that much different, really. Whether it’s posting about whatever caught my attention or happened to me that day, or perhaps a story that I know some of my readers might be interested in but might not have yet heard about, it’s all one great big conversation. That’s what makes it fun for me, and hopefully fun for my readers, too.

3. I want my blog to feel welcoming from first glance.

I’ve often likened running a blog to throwing a massive party: some folks are there by invitation, others drop in, but it’s up to the hostess (in this case, me) to make everyone feel welcome. Sure, there are limits to the behaviors one tolerates: I readily ban those who engage in hateful, personal attacks. I’d do it in my own house, too, just as I’d toss out any huckster who started hawking his wares to my guests. (Yes, comment spammers, I do mean you.)

That’s why I can’t stand it when folks moderate comments. To me it’s much like a host or hostess insisting on vetting everything their guests are going to say before allowing them to speak. Why worry they’ll say something offensive: you can always show them the door (delete their comment) if they do. If it’s just about ensuring the huckster doesn’t come crash your blog party then install better locks on the doors: get an anti-spam plug in. But, please, don’t punish all of your guests.

4. I’ve learned to love criticism.

Ok, that might be stretching it a bit, but I no longer wind up in a week-long funk when someone says my blog sucks and that they’ll never, ever return. I’ve seen all too often that a month, maybe two months later they’re back complaining about yet another entry I’ve written.

Point is: they’re back. How often do people return to places off-line that they really, truly despise? Not often, and when they do it’s usually to give the place a second chance. So, ok, maybe Joe didn’t like something I wrote in January and decided to tell me my blog sucks. When he comes back in February and says the same thing, I’m glad at least he decided to take another look around.

But if he comes back in March and says yet again that I suck? Then there’s only two conclusions to be drawn: Joe’s an ass, and he’s also a repeat reader.

5. I link whatever I want.

I’ll be honest: that’s something I’ve pretty much always done. I’ve never really understood the mentality of avoiding links to “small” blogs. I read hundreds of blogs every day. Why should I not link one that’s caught my interest?

Look, if running a blog is like throwing a party, then naturally I’d introduce you to someone else whom I knew had something to say that might interest you. (Or someone who was single and hot.) And, really, the more I introduce you to people with whom you have things in common, the better time you’re going to have, right?

I never have — and never will — understand those who are miserly with their links. But, then again, I don’t hang out with those kinds of folks, either.

6. I blog in a vacuum.

Considering my earlier statement about reading hundreds of blogs every day, this may sound like a contradiction. What I mean is that I seldom check my daily hits, my incoming links, my standings on this or that measurement system. Ok, I confess to knowing my site’s PR but that’s simply because someone pointed it out to me when I began accepting advertising around here.

Before that, I had no clue what “Page Ranking” meant. I’m still not sure that I understand it — does anyone, really? — but I know this: I blog for myself and my readers, not Google. If good things happen as a result of that approach, I’m glad. But most days I’m just too busy having fun and spouting my opinions to give a damn what the traffic statistics have to say.

7. I like earning an income from blogging the same way I always have.

I just can’t emphasize that enough: for the first four years my blogging was a drain on my family’s finances and a cause for a lot of raised eyebrows among my husband’s relatives. Granted, the cost paled in comparison to the enjoyment I got out of blogging, but just try explaining to your mother-in-law that you’re doing something for free with that all that spare time you’ve got on your hands now that “all you do” is stay home with your kids.

My, how things have changed.

One thing that hasn’t changed in these past four-and-a-half years: the way that I blog.

See, that’s something I’d promised myself when first starting to earn money with this: that I wasn’t going to start churning out one entry after another that basically read like submissions in a Copywriting 101 class. I knew if I did then I’d start feeling like a slave to my own blog and, worse yet, I’d start boring my guests. Considering the way comments have actually picked up around here, well, from what I can see you’re having as much fun as I am.

I’m so glad about that. Here’s to another four and a half years, and to hoping I’m no longer the ass I once was.

[tags]blogging, blog advertising, blog[/tags]