Beth has a Contradictory Brain, to which she gladly admits. She also has a knack for getting under a person’s skin, but that’s a good thing for a phlebotomist. Beth says her job reminds her how lucky she is, even if she’s now wearing crocs and thinking about getting a tattoo of Texas on her neck. Obviously, the woman likes needles.

Fortunately, I was able to pry her away from playing with sharp objects long enough to ask a few questions:

1. You’ve recently moved away from the Midwest. What do you miss most about it?

Not a damn thing!

2. When I have insomnia, I like sending out interview questions to people. What do you do when you can’t sleep?

I’ve had more sleepless nights in my life than I’d like to remember. I spent a lot of them staring at the ceiling, reading, watching tv – but not infomercials!

3. What do you wish hadn’t changed in the world in the past 20 years?

I wish political correctness had never happened.

4. Confession time: how many pairs of shoes do you have, and do you honestly wear all of them regularly?

I’ve got 10 pairs, and wear at least six of them fairly regularly. My girl’s still got two moving boxes of shoes that haven’t been unpacked – and that doesn’t include all the two boxes that have been unpacked.

5. What kind of old person do you want to grow up to be?

Carefree, loving, and fun.

6. Tastes great. Half the calories. Which is more important, and why?

Tastes great – what’s the point of food that doesn’t taste good?

7. Describe something you’ve never done but would like to do, and why haven’t you done it?

I’ve never been skydiving. I just never got around to it and am getting to that age in life where I might consider it more dangerous than it’s worth.

8. Talking animals on television shows: cute or terribly disturbing?

Mostly just annoying.

9. Name three things that make a blog suck.

Weird color schemes, boring entries, no good blogroll.

10. Complete this sentence; “What VK doesn’t know about me is…”.

What VK doesn’t know about me is that I wants kids more than anything in the world – and I hope with all my might this year my girl has me one.

If you’d like to be interviewed here on EV, there are only two things you’ve got to do: first, have a blog that doesn’t suck. Then leave me a note in the comments. Assuming you meet the first requirement, I’ll be happy to make you one of my victims volunteers.