HAWAII - A woman with severe symptoms of PMS was seen this morning boarding a plane bound for Baghdad International Airport. The woman, whose identity has not yet been confirmed, told other passengers that she was sick and tired of waiting for the Middle East situation to clear itself up and was going to take matters into her own hands.

One fellow passenger said the woman confided her plan in him during the flight. "She explained that if the world wants the Middle East situation cleared up, they need to let a woman take care of it," recounted the passenger. "As a mom, she said she wasn't going to put up with any more of this silly bickering over what sand belongs to which idiot, or whose God was bigger and stronger. She kept tapping this wooden spoon in her hand the whole time, and mumbled something about wishing she had her Clue Bat with her but couldn't get it past airport security."

Other passengers recalled how the woman said that the best way to solve the Palestinian problem was to send Yassr Arafat to his room and not let him out until he stopped sounding like a deranged lunatic.

"She wasn't about to let those Iraqis get away with their behavior, either," said another traveler through his anti-SARS mask. "She called them ungrateful, demanding little brats who would tear each other to pieces if someone wasn't there to stop them. Frankly, she didn't think that sounded like such a bad idea and suggested that the U.S. ought to just leave them to themselves until they stopped whining and appreciated what people were doing for them."

Officials at the airline on which the woman flew could not be reached for comment. Members of the flight crew, who asked not to be identified, said that throughout the flight they heard a strange, hissing sound that seemed to be coming from underneath the wide-brimmed, fashionable hat the woman was wearing. However, they described her as a rather friendly sort after they met her demands for immediate and frequent service of coffee and vodka martinis.