After a two-year hiatus, the Snark Hunt has returned as the Carnival of Snark, a name intended to convey the need for you to read through your own damn entries and send them in. Given the small number of you who did so, it may be short-lived. I’m going to blame the dearth of entries on NaNoWriMo. Yeah, that’s it: you folks are all busy writing.

Or maybe you’re among the NaNo crowd who don’t seem to actually comprehend that the purpose of the program is to produce the first-draft of an actual novel and not merely churn out 50,000 words of crap just to reach the “finish line”. Using ‘potato‘ every other word? Including recipes and excerpts from someone else’s books? Can’t they smell the effluvia wafting from their computers? There’s no glory in being an unpublished author. Just ask my favorite new read: Miss Snark. (Who, incidentally, is wholly unrelated to the Snark Hunt, the Carnival of Snark, or even yours truly. Her loss.)

Perhaps, however, you have simply forgotten what it means to snark. To quote myself (because I can, and because you miserable sods gave me precious little material to work with this week): nothing is sacred from the snare of the Snark. And, to paraphrase someone else — also because I can, and because it takes up space, a lesson I’m learning from those NaNo folks: Snark, for lack of a better word, is good…. Snark clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the bitchy spirit. (Why, yes, I am done channeling my Inner Gecko now, thanks.)

As Snark afficionados know — yes, even Miss Snark — there is a world of difference between sniping and snarking. To-wit: George Moneo’s wonderful explanation of how to demonstrate class while delivering an insult. (Thanks to Doc for the nomination!)

Snark, when done well, is all about humor: humor at someone else’s expense. Currently, the moron most frequently footing the bill is John Kerry who, as we all know, is far, far more intelligent than the rest of us. Just ask him. Of course, even a Yalie smart enough to live off his wife’s largess and a government paycheck sometimes runs low on good humor. So Brian J. Noggle has a few spare jokes he’s willing to lend to John Kerry just in case Kerry stops being one himself.

Most of all, Snark is enduring. It does not get its panties in a wad over minor little things no one will remember next week, nor does it limit itself to snarking solely on current events. What is snark-worthy years ago is still snark-worthy today, because Snark — like a good Chanel suit — is timeless. Witness, for instance, Miriam’s snarkage about those who actually believed the world would end six years ago on Y2K.

In other words: don’t bogart that snark, my friend.