Archive for ‘Blog bites’

March 30th, 2009

Vaya Con Venom [Farewell For Now]

by Venomous Kate

Ordinarily, resignation letters start off saying something to the effect that “it is with a heavy heart”, or, “this has been the most difficult decision I’ve ever had to make”.

Not this one.

After 6,053 posts over the past six years — and that’s not even counting the entries at my other three blogs or at Pajamas Media — I’ve reached a point where I no longer feel the least bit interested in spending my days online.

Truth is, lately I’ve found myself wondering why I felt compelled to blog in the first place. To change minds? Hah. I’m not so naive as to believe that one blog entry, or even a slew of them, has any meaningful influence on someone’s political persuasion. To communicate with others? Well, sure. That was the fun part… until “social media” like Twitter, Facebook, et al., turned interaction into a nonstop slew of mental diarrhea streaming live 24/7.

Looking back, I realize that dissatisfaction with my own life was the greatest impetus behind my blogging. Because, let’s face it, my adventures with Venomous Hubby provide an endless source of snark-filled fodder.

Or so I thought.

In the past two months, as I’ve spent increasingly less time online, I’ve discovered something profound: it’s not that I was dissatisfied with the life I was living, it’s that I was living too much of that life online.

Staying away from the computer on a regular basis has given me the time and mental energy to appreciate my loved ones, to accomplish projects I previously believed I didn’t have time for, and to simply take pleasure in being without feeling the compulsion to share every detail of my existence with the online community. (It’s also helped me shed 17 of the far-too-many-to-admit-in-public pounds that I’ve put on in the past 6 years as my life dwindled to the space between my bed, fridge and laptop.)

So, dear blogosphere, it is actually with a very light and happy heart that I am writing this to tell you of the easiest decision I’ve made in quite some time. I’d wondered how to quit you, and now I know: it’s just a matter of turning off the computer and seeing that the world, indeed, keeps going.

To all of my Venomites, I want to thank you for your loyal readership and witty comments over the years. Were it not for how much I know I’ll miss you, I’d probably have reached this decision quite some time ago. As it is, I appreciate your support and understanding, and please know that I’ll miss you, too.

I may be back. I may not. When I sit here thinking of my future it doesn’t involve blogging. It does, however, involve a whole lot of time unplugged from the online world and tuned in, instead, to my own life.

So, until we meet again:

Vaya con Venom,
VK

March 10th, 2009

Happy Birthday To My Blog

by Venomous Kate

Electric Venom turns 6 years old today! Why, it seems like just the other day I was sitting at my laptop worried that I’d somehow break the internet if I pushed the wrong button and wondering if I’d get in trouble for typing “fuck” on the internet.

For the first time ever, I’m not going to celebrate this blogiversary by promising to stick around another 6 years. Frankly, when I look back at all the hours and days that have passed by unnoticed for having existed beyond the confines of my monitor, it makes me just a bit blog weary. Or maybe that’s constipation. Hard to say.

At any rate, thanks to all of my readers for making life online far more interesting over the past few years than the stuff that’s happened away from the computer. You keep doing what you do so well, and I’ll consider doing the same.

February 21st, 2009

The Week In Venom 021409-022109

by Venomous Kate

My apologies for the silence around here lately but between feeling like death warmed over for most of the past week, and VH’s trip to Korea leaving me (once again) to parent solo, I’ve been more interested in screaming into my pillow than reading the news, much less forming a semi-intelligent opinion on it.

Which is not to say that I haven’t been blogging. I have, just not here. So here’s a sampling of what I’ve posted elsewhere which you’ve probably been too lazy to look into:

At I Think Therefore I Blog:

…And Then It Dawned On Me. An excerpt:

All weekend long I could not escape the feeling of impending doom. You know the one I’m talking about: that tickle in the pit of your stomach, the tension in the back of your throat, the pressure bearing down on your shoulders, the certainty that the ceiling above you — and the sky above it — is bearing down on your helpless ass.
In other words, my mother’s visit is a mere 29 days away.

Also, Rinse and Spit Please.

At Chubby Mommy:

Lessons from the Wii Fit. An excerpt:

You know how exercise is supposed to give you more energy? I’m still waiting for that part to kick in. I’m tired! Every morning when my alarm clock goes off, I am so tempted to hit the snooze button and go back to sleep. The only thing stopping me? My arms are too freakin’ sore to move quickly enough to reach the dang thing before that incessant buzzzzzing wakes up everyone else in the house.

Also, Eau de Moi.

At Queen of Snark:

Like a Bookmark in Your Poop. An excerpt:

So. I’d just finished scrubbing, pre-soaking, washing, drying and folding a load which consisted of nothing besides his underwear. Boxer-briefs, in case you’re curious. And while I folded one pair I noticed the crotch area is getting a little thin… as in, I could see the floor through some of the holes.

(Yes, God did bless my husband in that general vicinity — which might explain why I put up with as much as I do — but, honestly, I don’t understand how the man wears out 3 pairs of his underwear in the time it takes me to wear out one of mine.)

Also, Sign Language.

And, of course, there’s my Pajamas Media column asking Can Starbucks Really Offer “Value” With A Straight Face in response to which the rabid PJM commenters accuse Your Venomous Hostess of being obsessed with what other people think of me.

To quote my favorite cartoon duck: “Dey don’t know me vewy well, do dey?”

So, as far as blogging goes until Monday, the-the-the-the-the-that’s all, folks!

February 9th, 2009

The Government Makes No Sense With Cents

by Venomous Kate

Kim has a thought-provoking piece on the Stimulapalooza:

Government can encourage or discourage the private sector. At the moment they are discouraging the private sector. Government wants to increase entitlements and increase government jobs. But if everyone is on the goverment teat with entitlements or employment, where does the money come from? Will government pay it’s employees with one hand and take from them with the other to pay the entitlements?

Go. Read.

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February 9th, 2009

Everything Old Is New Again

by Venomous Kate

My latest column, Batman, Smurfs, Spam and Nostalgia is up at Pajamas Media. An excerpt:

These days, nostalgia also means big business now that corporate America has begun to realize that everything old is new again. What we watch, what we eat, what we’re wearing, how we spend our free time, and where we’re doing it — our lives today don’t resemble the high-speed techno-dream once predicted by James Berry (no relation) so much as they resemble, well, our childhoods.

February 6th, 2009

Do You Haiku?

by Venomous Kate

Quite some time ago, I asked you to contribute a Google-related haiku and you blew my socks off with your witty submissions.

Evidently, you impressed some other folks, too. Now you’re featured at Haiku.com.

Oh, stop smiling now.
Click the link and go visit.
Then hurry back here.

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January 27th, 2009

Sometimes A Dress Is Just A Dress

by Venomous Kate

Should the new First Lady have worn a dress designed by an African-American on Inauguration Day? That’s the question behind my latest Pajamas Media column: Much Ado About Michelle Obama’s Dress.

January 23rd, 2009

For Sale: One Hymen*

by Venomous Kate

My latest column, Virginity on the Auction Block, is up at Pajamas Media.

*Not mine.


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