What is it about some people who feel the need to sneer at fundraising efforts like last night’s Hope for Haiti Now concert? “A bunch of self-serving celebrities”, they’re saying on Facebook and elsewhere today. “How much did THEY give?”

News flash: celebrities, like the rest of us, probably had other plans for how they were going to spend their Friday night and, being celebrities, they probably made their plans far more in advance than the rest of us. So the very fact they canceled said plans — and whatever money-making was involved — is still more than the average TV viewer, sitting at home on a Friday night shoveling Munch-os into their mouth, did to help Haiti.

Meanwhile, here are a few of the names and the numbers: George Clooney, $1 million. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie matched him with $1 million of their own. Madonna pledged $250,000. Leonardo di Caprio’s giving $1 million, too. Supermodel Gisele Bundchen wrote a check for a cool $1.5 million. And, although there are probably plenty others, perhaps some celebrities just don’t think it’s anyone’s business what amount they give. Kind of like some non-celebrities I know.

But, naturally, the nattering nabobs are now whining that million dollars is a drop in the bank to someone like George Clooney. Then they pat themselves on the back for having taken a break from Facebook to donate $10 by text messaging the word ‘Haiti’ to 90999 on their cell phones. Because, you know, apparently that ten dollars combined with the interruption of their annoying Facebook status updates (“I just ate cereal!” “My kid just sneezed on my monitor!” “It’s cold and rainy here!”) deserves SO much more recognition.

And the worst part — the really, terribly annoying worst freaking possible part — is this grousing about celebrities not donating enough, or that their appearances were self-serving, is coming from REPUBLICANS who have just spent the past several days complaining about DEMOCRATS telling people how to spend their money.

Hypocrites, all.

We have a winner for the Hope and Changey edition of the Caption Contest.

Congratulations to Steve whose caption “God, I Wish I Knew How To Quit You” takes first place, earning him a Moleskine notebook in which to record his witty thoughts, along with all of his other ones. (Steve, be sure to email me your snail mail address so I know where to send your notebook.)

That said, there were a few other entrants who were so clever they almost made me pee. Since I only have one Moleskine to send out, y’all will have to settle for seeing your name in hyperlinks:

Second place: Linoge with “So, do you want me to reach around or not?”

Third place: Kevin with “Yes sir, economic decisions are most difficult. I suggest you try ’scissors’ this time.”

Thanks to everyone for playing!

This time, the winner gets a Moleskine notebook paid for out of my own pocket. So you’d damn well make it GOOD, folks.

Winner announced Monday.

UPDATE: Due to my mother’s visit, which lasts until Friday, I’ll be a bit too busy for blogging. Ergo, I’m going to keep the contest open. Winner announced Sunday.

Admit it, you’ve missed Spinal Tap. And when we last heard from the hair band we figured that as long as there was sex and drugs we could do without the rock and roll. So, was it the end for them? As David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean) said:

Well, I don’t really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like? It’s like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then how – what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what’s stopping it, and what’s behind what’s stopping it? So, what’s the end, you know, is my question to you.

Never fear, die hard fans. Spinal Tap is going on tour.

* Yes, I know it’s an overused quote. But it’s such a fine line between stupid and clever.

It’s not just the Bratz Dolls giving girls unrealistic expectations of head size… although that video is a hoot!

My latest Pajama Media article is up and it’s not open for interpre-ta-tion.

That’s right, it’s me on Madonna — and her offensive portrayal of John McCain — over at Pajamas Media.

My article about Roseanne Barr’s latest antic is up at Pajamas Media.