From the moment Beyoncé announced her pregnancy at the VMA’s, the gossip mags have covered just about every aspect of it: what she’s wearing, whether her bump is real, and when she’s due. Considering how the papparazi swarm around her, flash bulbs clicking away the instant she steps outside, it’s a wonder we haven’t all been treated to photos of Beyonce getting a prenatal massage. Maybe she’s trying to lay low right now while we mere mortals recover from learning that her baby will be bathing in a $7,000 pink Swarovksi crystal baby tub. Really.
Fortunately, Jessica Simpson’s been more circumspect about her pregnancy. First, she kept mum on the matter, letting the gossip mags speculate on the cause of her growing girth. Then on Halloween she decided to be mum no more, showing off her bulging baby bump in a mummy costume. Get it? Get it? Yeah, it was pretty bad.
But it’s not just female celebrities breeding like rabbits right now. Nope, back in the news is perennial papa, Mel Gibson, who’s been slapped with a paternity suit by some reality TV bimbo. And just think: the ink isn’t even dry on the judge’s order in Mel’s last paternity/custody lawsuit!
Now, when you give it some thought, the real surprise isn’t that Beyoncé’s baby will be spoiled, that Jessica Simpson’s packing on pounds, or that Mel Gibson can’t keep it in his pants. No, the true surprise is that Kim Kardashian hasn’t jumped all over this celebrity breeding stuff. Then again, a baby requires a lot more than a 72-day commitment.