My article about Roseanne Barr’s latest antic is up at Pajamas Media.
July 22nd, 2008
Who Cares About A SAG Strike?
I, for one, could not possibly care less about the impending Screen Actors Guild (SAG) strike in Hollywood.
Come to think of it, I’m not sure I’d even know if SAG actually did go on strike: between our DVR, Guitar Hero III and pay-per-view on cable, we don’t even bother wasting an entire evening scrolling through the channel guide’s lineup of re-runs anymore.
Sorry, Hollywood: when the average person is tossing their sofa pillows in search of spare change to pay for gas, you aren’t going to find a whole lot of sympathy for actors faced with the “awful” possibility of wearing last-season’s D&G or Jimmy Choos.
June 12th, 2008
Tonight’s Television Viewing
I honestly don’t know how families without TiVo or a DVR watch television together in the evenings anymore. The other night, with a tornado watch keeping my family confined to the basement, VH and I found ourselves flipping through channels in search of a show we could watch with our Big-Eyed Boy. Oh, sure, there’s always the cartoon channel, but even that has its own dangers: all of the commercials trying to push cross-marketed merchandise on kids. (“Mommy, can I have Hulk Hands?” “Honey, do you even know who The Hulk is?” “No, but I need them anyway!”)
What we really hoped to find was a sitcom the whole family could relate to, one that wouldn’t introduce concepts or words that our son doesn’t need to know about, like the menage a trois frequently mentioned on Two and a Half Men, a show that VH and I enjoy when our son isn’t around. Unfortunately, there’s just not a whole lot of good, wholesome programming anymore. Come to think of it, there’s not a whole lot of good programming, period.
During tonight’s tornado watch — which, let’s face it, is pretty much a given if you’ve been paying attention to the weather in my area of late — we’ll be watching The Bill Engvall Show. (Season premier is tonight on TBS at 9 p.m. Eastern). I admit, we’re big fans of Bill Engvall around here, although I’ve yet to live down the night I laughed so hard while watching “Here’s Your Sign” that I wound up peeing a little.
In a recent interview (check it out below), Bill Engvall said that one of his goals for the show is to make it a template for the families that want to come back to watching television together in the evenings. That’s almost exactly what VH and I had said about the show last season when we caught the first episodes: that we’d been waiting since The Cosby Show for a program that would appeal to us as well as to our kids, one which is funny without being filthy, and which focused on inherently good, normal people living lives much like ours.
So, given my anticipation of yet more severe weather tonight, I’ve re-stocked our supplies in the basement and ensured that we have fresh batteries for the flashlights just in case the tornado sirens go off yet again. And, since we’ll be watching The Bill Engvall Show on TBS, I made sure to put a couple of spare pairs of underwear downstairs, too.
Like I said, the man is funny.
June 3rd, 2008
Laughing at the Lohans
My article about Cleavers to Lohans: The Downhill Slide of the American TV Family is up at Pajamas Media.
Meanwhile, enjoy the vicious wit of Tracy Ullman doing Dina Lohan (NSFW):
Celebrities Bite | 
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May 7th, 2008
More Than A Catchy Jingle
Even though I didn’t understand the song (because my French is that rusty) I still love to listen to this guy’s voice.
Imagine my surprise when, after the third or fourth hearing, I realized that’s the guy who sings the free credit report jingles. Only this is actually his voice, instead of some dub-over.
March 20th, 2008
Stupid Actor Driving Stupidly
Actor Thomas Jane, who’s best known for his role in “The Punisher”, is about to get punished himself after racing his Mazerati at 124 mph on Interstate 5.
Now, you won’t hear me crying over a rich celebrity having to fork out for California high risk car insurance after pulling a stunt like that. I can only imagine the car insurance quote California drivers get plagued with after incidents like that now that newspapers are publishing DUI offender names.
Still, let’s give the man some credit: despite blowing over 0.08 percent, those are some impressive speeds to be reaching without having an auto accident. And, no doubt his lawyer will bring that out, not that his SR22 insurance will be any lower.
Perhaps his lawyer should also point out Jane’s true accomplishment: being the only person in history who didn’t get gridlocked in I-5′s notorious traffic.
December 13th, 2007
Lost In Translation’s Lost Final Whisper
For four freakin’ years I’ve been wondering just what Bill Murray’s character whispered into Scarlett Johansson’s ear in the final scene of Lost in Translation. Now, thanks to some folks and their skills at digital enhancing, I finally know!
No, it doesn’t change the movie in the least bit, but at least I no longer feel as steamed over Sofia Coppola’s decision to snub viewers by leaving them lost in the final few frames.
November 2nd, 2007
Stung By Seinfeld’s Deception
Just last month, I raced to buy a copy of the cookbook by Jessica Seinfeld (yes, Jerry’s wife) that’s aimed at Moms looking to sneak more fruits and veggies into their kids’ diets while eliminating the health-hazards of fats, sugars and other Harmful Foods.
Jerry himself is such a proponent of his wife’s healthier-than-thou book that he went on Letterman to defend her against claims of plagiarism and touted her efforts to ensure their kids’ dietary health.
So, imagine my surprise when the Big-Eyed Boy came racing up to me to draw my attention to a McDonald’s commercial featuring Jerry Seinfeld urging kids, via his Bee Movie character, to buy the fast-food chain’s deep-fried “chicken” nuggets and greasy burgers.
Somehow, I feel like I just got stung.