Highway patrol officers and school officials at El Camino High School in Oceanside, California, wanted to teach teens about the consequences of drinking and driving, how it’s not just those committing the crime who are affected, how those left behind after a drunk-driving accident will forever be changed. So on a Monday morning last month the patrol officers entered 20 classrooms in the school to tell students that one of their peers had been killed in a drunk-driving accident over the weekend.

Not surprisingly, students freaked out.

As a parent of a teenage girl, I can only imagine. At that age, they go hy-freaking-sterical over just about anything: my daughter cried for hours when Flower died on Meerkat Manor last season, and the way she carried on over Heath Ledger’s tragic death would’ve made you think she personally knew the guy. (She did not. In fact, she remembered him as “that guy in the medieval movie with the rock music who kissed the other dude.”)

From that I can infer that her reaction — and those of other girls like her — upon hearing that a classmate had been killed would make the professional mourners in 14th century Spain look stoic. Except my daughters’ grief would be real, just as it was for those kids at El Camino High who didn’t know the whole thing was a hoax.

School officials say that was the point of the whole exercise: “They were traumatized, but we wanted them to be traumatized,” said the school counselor. In fact, they’d intended for the kids to remain upset all day long until an assembly was called, at which point the administration would inform the kids of the truth.

But some teachers (you know, those folks who actually deal with kids face-to-face instead of sitting in their administrative offices thinking up Bright Fucking Ideas like this one) realized the teens were more than just a little upset, so they explained that the whole thing was a demonstration in order to calm the kids down.

No doubt those teachers recognized something the administrators and counselors should know already: kids who are freaking out don’t learn a thing, and kids who feel tricked aren’t going to remember why someone tricked them. So all that emotional manipulation ultimately amounted to nothing… except a whole bunch of traumatized kids.

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It’s a pretty sad commentary about the state of our educational system when administrators make spelling errors on high school diplomas. Twice.

A Cleveland-area principal says he’s embarrassed his students got proof of their “educaiton” on their high school diplomas.

Westlake High School officials misspelled “education” on the diplomas distributed last weekend. It’s been the subject of mockery on local radio.

Principal Timothy Freeman says he sent back the diplomas once to correct another error. When the diplomas came back, no one bothered to check things they thought were right the first time.

Yeah, Cleveland rawks all right.

Dear Little 13-year-old Dipshit Who Rang My Doorbell at 3:47 p.m. today:

I realize that someone probably taught you that Americans love the “get up and go” spirit, hence you decided to blow off doing your homework after school to sell candy bars for your class trip fund raiser.

That same person would no doubt have advised you not to actually be eating one of those candy bars when you shoved your grimy, chocolate-streaked finger repeatedly on my doorbell, then smacked your lips throughout your 30-second spiel on why I should pay $5 for a bar of stale chocolate.

I also realize that your mom and dad must have been busy working, which is no doubt why your teenage sister (?) sat in her car dripping oil on my driveway while bobbing her head senselessly as 50 Cent thud-thud-thudded loudly on her crappy stereo system. As for her halter top (it’s only 58 degrees out, girl) and ebullient makeup, well, I’ll just assume she’s on her way to a costume party.

Let me just assure you, that was not why I refused to buy your candy.

The thing is, Dear Dipshit, that sign above the doorbell reads “No Soliciting”, which is precisely what you were doing.

No, I’m not surprised you don’t know what that word means. You are, after all, a product of the very public school system which now has you out pounding pavement to hawk products for them.

So, to make a long story short, Dear Dipshit, I didn’t buy the candy from you because, from what I can see of you and your lineage, the last thing you need is to be spending time away from the classroom. Go hit the books, kid. And tell your sister to do the same so she doesn’t have to resort to soliciting someday soon, too.

Signed,
The Crabby Lady On the Cul-De-Sac

UPDATE: Jeff has a warning for parents who send their fund-raising kids his direction. Geez, and they call me ‘Venomous’.

San Francisco, that bastion of liberal “rainbow” politics, has a nasty little secret to hide when it comes to how parents choose the schools their children will attend.

A recent study of the city’s school choice program — which allows families to rank their preferred schools and then usually grants admission to one of the top two choices — shows that parents don’t like to send their kids to a school with a large number of African-American students. Of course, none of the parents actually came out and said as much: instead, a study using regression analysis isolated various factors such as income and skin color.

If anything, this is an accepted fact among those who work in education. School board member Kim-Shree Maufas, who is the first African American member of the board in 10 years, says, “It doesn’t surprise me.”

“I recognize it and am very disturbed that people are selecting on that basis,” Maufas says. “But I’m on to thinking about the next step.”

That’s the tough part - doing something to change perceptions. As Sanchez says, not only is race a difficult and sensitive topic, most parents don’t even want to discuss it.

“And they especially don’t want to talk about it if they are going to be blamed,” Sanchez says. “We are not saying you are a bad person if you didn’t choose these schools.”

Whether a conscious decision or not, the statistics confirm that parental school choice manifests itself in race-based discrimination, perhaps on the basis of perceptions the study itself was not examining. And that selectiveness is something that educators throughout the nation need to consider, since it is no doubt taken into account by parents living in cities without school choice programs like San Fransico’s. In those places, parents investigate schools while choosing to decide where to live.

One proposal to deal with this problem in San Francisco involves giving kids “extra points” during the college admission process if they attended a school with a large percentage of African-American students. That plan’s proponent claims such a bonus would mean “People would be beating down the doors to get in.”

What say you?

With very little time on my hands these days, my reading routine has definitely taken a backseat to activities like getting my garden ready for spring. So I was tickled to run into Squashed Philosophers today.

Covering the thinkers who influenced Western philosophy, this site condenses great books from their original length to as little as 5 minutes reading (Epicurus’s Sovran Maxims) up to slightly over an hour (Plato’s Republic).

Sure, it’s not the same thing as reading the original, but to badly butcher Frost, it is better to have read condensed than never to have read at all.

There’s a new wiki-based encyclopedia on the web, and this one’s for the Right. Conservapedia was created in response to the perceived bias in Wikipedia:

Conservapedia is a much-needed alternative to Wikipedia, which is increasingly anti-Christian and anti-American. On Wikipedia, many of the dates are provided in the anti-Christian “C.E.” instead of “A.D.”, which Conservapedia uses. Christianity receives no credit for the great advances and discoveries it inspired, such as those of the Renaissance.[...]

Conservapedia is an online resource and meeting place where we favor Christianity and America. Conservapedia has easy-to-use indexes to facilitate review of topics. You will much prefer using Conservapedia compared to Wikipedia if you want concise answers free of “political correctness”.

The project was created by a “large, advanced group” of New Jersey homeschoolers in November 2006 — as if I needed another reason to like it!

Sorry. I got caught up in Listmania making my own homeschooling list on Amazon.

With the Santa Mantra continuing full-force in our house, I’ve encountered a number of people who find it surprising that the Big-Eyed Boy still believes in Santa Claus. He’s six. Of course he does! He also believes in the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Mommy’s ability to heal just about anything with a kiss and a cookie.

So I’d be furious, to say the least, if my son attended a school where some teacher informed him that Santa does not exist. But that’s precisely what happened in Britain:

Last week a primary school teacher was sacked for telling her young class that Santa does not exist.

The supply teacher apparently decided the pupils - some as young as nine - were too old to believe in Father Christmas.

The teacher, who has not been named, is believed to have told the class at Boldmere Junior School, in Sutton Coldfield, West Midlands: “All of you are old enough to know there is no Father Christmas or fairies.

If you ask your parents to tell you they will say there is no such thing.”

I, personally, agree with Techievampire’s approach.

In case you ever wondered, things are no different than when you were in high school.

(Via O’Donnell Web.)

Dubbed by Xrlq as “the best argument for homeschooling,” the story of a substitute science teacher who used the same lancet to draw blood from 7th graders for a class project is mind-blowing.

Even more shocking is that when the students expressed alarm over the AIDS risk, the teachers said nothing but merely continued wiping the lancet off on his own shirt before pricking other students. In fact, had a student not mentioned the situation to her mother, the school might never have known about it. Now, over 30 students must be tested for hepatitis and HIV.

Yep, I’d have to agree with Xrlq, but not for the obvious reason. Sure, the situation was appallingly dangerous for the kids. But the real shocker here is that such a person was hired as a “teacher” in the first place.

Parents of special needs children often wonder how best to obtain the additional care and specialized eduation their children need. In Irvine, California, the answer apparently is by coughing up bling:

To get proper care for their severely autistic son, an Irvine couple say they were forced to shower employees at his elementary school with $100,000 in diamond jewelry, Coach bags, Chanel perfume and other lavish gifts, according to a legal claim filed this month.

Thomas Lin, a pediatrician, and his wife, Liya, a homemaker, also purchased and furnished a condo that a teacher’s newlywed daughter and husband lived in rent-free for a year before moving out with the furniture, according to the claim filed Nov. 2 against the Irvine Unified School District and the Orange County Department of Education.

County Supt. Bill Habermehl said he was told the Lins were not pressured to give gifts in exchange for educating their 7-year-old son, who could not speak and was not toilet-trained, but county education officials have launched an investigation. (Source: Mercury News.)

The parents claim that when their gift-giving waned, school employees actually began calling to demand specific gifts. Meanwhile, school officials deny it… but apparently have no explanation for the twelve “Thank You” notes written by employees to express their gratitude for the Lin’s gifts.

I can’t wait to see what the EducationWonks think of this one.

Bill Cosby attended a forum called “Education is a Civil Right” over the weekend. Considering his aggressive promotion of parental involvement and teacher excellence, the audience most likely expected more straight-talk from the honorary doctorate recipient. They weren’t disappointed. But this time, Cosby extended his message even further.

“We’ve got parents who won’t check the bedrooms of their children to see if there’s a gun,” he said.

He chided teachers for not explaining clearly to students who ask, “Why do I need to know this?” that their algebra and English classes can help them obtain higher-paying jobs.

“I’m not asking you to entertain the children,” he told listening teachers. “If you teach English, and you can’t answer this child … then you’re in trouble, and we’ve been in trouble. We can’t answer these children, because nobody’s given them any goals.”

If students know that they could fix elevators at the local mall and earn $75,000 a year, he said, “and if they like the job of fixing the elevator, you’ve got to get to them with that algebra.”

Even some churchgoers drew a rebuke. Cosby riffed on the common expression “The Lord will find a way,” adding, “So I’m just going to wait for Jesus to find a way.”

He said: “Too many people are waiting for Jesus to come along and cut your grass. And Jesus isn’t going to come along and cut your grass.”

Anyone want to bet on how soon church groups lodge their protests against Cosby and demand an apology?

Two companies, Rockstar and Take2 (the U.S. producer) are coming out with a video game called “Bully.” The concept? The main character fights with school bullies and tries to get accepted by various cliques within his school. Not surprisingly, many parents are outraged and the company does not understand why.

“Hitting girls, little kids, teachers and prefects lands you in serious trouble - you’re busted straight away,” said the spokesman.

The game is set in an American private school

Fighting forms a large part of the title but the developers said it was displayed like a “cartoon or Popeye fight”.

He said: “There’s no blood at all in the game. There’s no physical damage.

“Nobody dies in the game. There are no guns.”

But the main character can use dustbin lids and baseball bats to hit other children in the school.

He said: “Anyone over 15 knows that hitting someone with a baseball bat is going to cause serious head injury and would not copy it just because they saw it in a video game.”

Sure they don’t. It’s just pure coincidence the shooter in last month’s Montreal killings considered Super Columbine Massacre RPG to be one of his favorites.

UPDATE: After watching someone else play the game for him (because, apparently, judges can’t be bothered to play silly games?), Judge Ronald Friedman acknowledges that the game has a considerable amount of violence but cleared it for release.

Via Joanne Jacobs comes a story about Burelson school district — located outside Fort Worth, Texas — where students are being trained to defend themselves against would-be school shooters.

“Getting under desks and praying for rescue from professionals is not a recipe for success,” said Robin Browne, a major in the British Army reserve and an instructor for Response Options, the company providing the training to the Burleson schools.

That kind of fight-back advice is all but unheard of among schools, and some fear it will get children killed.

But school officials in Burleson said they are drawing on the lessons learned from a string of disasters such as Columbine in 1999 and the Amish schoolhouse attack in Pennsylvania last week. [...]

Browne recommends students and teachers “react immediately to the sight of a gun by picking up anything and everything and throwing it at the head and body of the attacker and making as much noise as possible. Go toward him as fast as we can and bring them down.”

Response Options trains students and teachers to “lock onto the attacker’s limbs and use their body weight,” Browne said. Everyday classroom objects, such as paperbacks and pencils, can become weapons.

“We show them they can win,” he said. “The fact that someone walks into a classroom with a gun does not make them a god. Five or six seventh-grade kids and a 95-pound art teacher can basically challenge, bring down and immobilize a 200-pound man with a gun.” (Source)

I can’t say I’m thrilled about schools compelling children to attend and then looking to the children to defend themselves. But, if nothing else, at least kids don’t need to feel like they’re sitting ducks just because the school district can’t figure out how to keep armed people from walking its halls.

This week’s edition is hosted by the Education Wonks.

Another Monday, another school shooting.

JOPLIN, Mo. (AP) — Authorities say a 13-year-old brought an AK-47 to his Joplin, Missouri, school and fired it this morning — but no one was hurt.

Authorities say the student wore a mask and pointed the assault rifle at the principal, an assistant superintendent and two students, pleading — “Please don’t make me do this.”

The superintendent says the teenager fired a shot into the ceiling and broke a water pipe. But administrators talked him into leaving the building, and police were waiting outside with weapons drawn.

The incident forced about 700 students to leave the school to wait for frightened parents to pick them up.

The superintendent calls it a “very close call.”

Joplin is a city of about 41,000 in southwest Missouri.

UPDATE: Police also found a note in the boy’s backpack (along with diagrams and military manuals) which indicated he’d planted an explosive at the school. Bomb-sniffing dogs “hit” on a locker at the school. Details are still forthcoming.

UPDATE: Missouri Gov. Matt Blunt, upon learning of the shooting, said it is worth considering proposals to permit teachers to carry guns in light of the recent spike in school shootings.

Dr. Homeschool explains how to restore your child’s self-confidence when making the switch from public to homeschool.

The Carnival of Homeschooling goes retro for its 40th installment at Homeschool Buzz. In this week’s edition, Phat Mommy challenges homeschoolers to provide an answer — a very detailed answer — to those who’ve always wondered “What do homeschoolers do all day?”

October is Gay and Lesbian History Month in Philidelphia’s public school system, according to the school calendar. Administrators say the program is part of the district’s steps to recognize different racial and ethnic minorities, and was added along with Hispanic Heritage Month in September, African History Month in February and Asian Pacific American History Month in May. No special programs are planned; however, schools with gay-straight alliances may schedule their own events.

The school district is not surprised that some parents — reportedly 120 — are irate.

”We have our policy that says the district is committed to foster knowledge and respect for all,” she said.

Cummings said a decision on whether to include Gay History Month on next year’s calendars would be made later.

”Our calendar this year is a celebration of diversity. Whether it will continue to be the theme in years to come, we’re not sure,” she said. (Source: Miami Herald.)

“A number of people are dead,” including the shooter, following an attack at a one-room Amish schoolhouse in Pennsylvania.

Police surrounded the one-room school late Monday morning, and the Lancaster County 911 Web site reported that dozens of emergency units were dispatched to a “medical emergency” at 10:45 a.m.

Two hours later, about three dozen people in traditional Amish clothing, hats and bonnets stood near the small school building speaking to one another, several young people and authorities. At least two ambulances had left the scene, and at least one person was taken on a stretcher to a medical helicopter.

Developing story at CNN.

UPDATE: Meanwhile, in Las Vegas, two schools were locked down after witnesses reported seeing a student carrying a weapon. Schools throughout the country have been on alert following fatal shootings last week in Wisconsin and Colorado, along with a disrupted murder plan also in a Wisconsin school. Even so, experts report that the number of non-fatal school shootings is down to 24 this year, from 85 last year.

UPDATE: The shooter in Pennsylvania was a commercial milk truck driver, himself a father of three and with no prior criminal history. Reports indicate that he left rambling suicide notes discovered by his wife. When she called him on his cell phone, the shooter said he would not be coming home — he was trying to settle “something that happened 20 years ago.” His method of revenge involved tying young school girls together by the feet. After letting boys and adult women in the classroom go, he shot three of his captives and wounded 7 more before killing himself. There are more details, but my stomach can’t handle such brutality anymore.