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Archive for ‘Time Wasting Bites’

September 20th, 2011

What Was He Thinking? (Caption Contest)

by Venomous Kate
Obama face palm

Caption This

This time, my lovely Venomites, there’s a $10 Amazon.com gift card at stake. So be witty. Be very, very witty.

(And be sure to leave an accurate email address with your caption, or you’ll never know if you’ve won!)

August 4th, 2011

Dear Network Television and Advertisers

by Venomous Kate

Why we don't watch TV much these daysDear Network Television and Advertisers,

While I’m on the subject of commercials that suck, I would like to take this moment to say that I am sick of Chef Curtis Stone, the guy in the Pledge multi-purpose spray ad, the woman in the Mentos commercial who laments my dirty mouth, and all of the other Brits and Aussies whose accents you advertisers seem to think will make your product sound so much more impressive.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Brits or their former convict offspring from Australia. I don’t even have anything against Curtis Stone. I’m sure he’s a very nice man, and goodness knows he’s easy on the eye. In fact, I wholeheartedly applaud the UK ban on retouched makeup print ads. I’d love to see a similar ban enacted here in America. Then things like this and this would stop.

While we’re at it, those pseudo-telethon “shows” you run during daytime TV to pretend there’s a huge demand for your wares? Or when you try making a commercial look like a news interview? I can’t help wondering just how stupid you think viewers are. If you’re being so openly tricky with your ads, I can only assume you’re just as deceptive when it comes to your actual service.

As for you, Network Executives: enough with the shows about horrible people acting horribly. No, I’m not talking about Big Brother, though surely that show’s run its course by now. This time I’m talking about Whitney and whatever that new show Zooey Deschanel is in.

Oh, sure, it worked for Seinfeld, which is no doubt why you tried to rehash the theme in that awful experiment otherwise known as The New Adventures of Old Christine. But, really, if we wanted to see a bunch of self-indulgent, narcissistic, amoral people screwing up their own lives and the lives of everyone around them, we’d tune into C-Span.

Sincerely,
VK

 

July 22nd, 2011

How Hot Is It? (Open Mic)

by Venomous Kate

It’s so hot, I saw an Amish guy buying an air conditioner. Okay, your turn. How hot is it?*

     

     
*(Thanks to Twoma, we’re having a competition. Enter early and often! Winner gets a nice, frosty ice cube via snail mail!)

     

     

June 17th, 2011

We Have A Winner!

by Venomous Kate

Cost? Don’t be silly; that’s what the taxpayers are for.

Congratulations Eowyn for coming up with the winning caption!

Also, thanks to every one who played along. Look for another Caption Contest on Monday!

May 24th, 2011

Caption Contest

by Venomous Kate

(Note, Facebookers: only answers at my blog count!)

We haven’t done a Caption Contest around these parts in quite some time, mostly because I’ve been distracted by life offline. But since I have absolutely nothing of interest to write about, I might as well let you do all the work.

So, leave a caption telling what these ladies are saying to each other. Winner gets fame, glory and a hyperlink to his/her blog (because I’m too cheap broke to buy you goodies).

(Source)

Photo Credit - The Guardian

February 3rd, 2011

Word Fugue: The Cheese Head Edition

by Venomous Kate

Since I’ve been writing about cheese so much — and since there’s some stupid football game on this weekend — now seems like a good time for a Cheese Head edition of Word Fugue(tm). And, no, I’m not referring to that smarmy, unwashed, uncircumcised hipster who makes your daily latte.

If you’ve never played it before, here are the rules of Word Fugue:

(NOTE: If you’re reading this on Facebook you’ve got to click thru to my blog to play.)

1. I start it off with a word.
2. You look at the most recently posted comment.
3. You leave ONE word that comes to mind upon reading the most recent comment.
4. You may play as many times as you like, but you may not use the same word twice.
5. Don’t leave links. They’ll only send you into comment moderation.
6. Word Fugues that wind up in comment moderation will get deleted.
7. The game continues until you bore me, at which point comments are closed.

Ready?

Here’s the word:

Cheese!

January 26th, 2011

Get Your Game On

by Venomous Kate

Best adventure game of 2010

2010 Adventure Game of Year

Are you sick of snow, cold, and being cooped up indoors yet? I sure am. About the only thing that’s keeping me sane (besides vodka) are the various games I’ve been downloading and playing lately.

If you’re looking for something to keep you from getting cabin-fever, too, be sure to check out the $4.99 sale on Customer Favorites from 2010*. I’ve played the vast majority of these myself and have to say there’s not a bum one in the lot! Oh, and here’s the coupon code to get the sale price: GAMEOFTHEYEAR.

Game on!

*Sale price expires 1/31/2011

October 23rd, 2010

Whack A Mole?

by Venomous Kate

I suppose if you’re one of those hard-core, right-wingers who maintains that President Obama is really a Manchurian-style candidate, this game may take on a whole new meaning. For everyone else, it’s just a fun way to kill some time.

Play Whack A Mole

Click to play for free


(By the way, listening to the entire preview helps support this site.)