The more I find out about Janeane Garofalo and her “thoughts”, the more I’m convinced that she was one of those kids in grade school with greasy hair and a constantly runny nose that bathed the open sores on her upper lip with a steady stream of mucus. The kind of kid that smelled vaguely of feces and fried bologna. The kind of kid that stomped rather than walked, and did so with her arms folded tightly across her chest, always muttering to herself as she glared at the ground. The kind of kid that all the other kids avoided because rumor had it she was half-crazy, and the scariest thing one could say to another was “Oooh, don’t touch that! Janeane Barf-alo touched it!” because that meant you might become crazy like her, too.

“This dumbing down and this pseudo patriotism, which is very conveniently partisan, because the dumb and the mean love patriotism. Now the dumb believe unto patriotism because it’s really – when it’s as unexamined as it is for the dumb, it’s merely narcissism. Yeah, it’s my country right or wrong. Well what of these colors don’t run? What do you mean? I don’t know. They use the word evildoer with a straight face, knee jerk reactionary phrases that go down well from the Republican Party with the dumb and the mean and then the mean pretend that it’s unpatriotic to be critical of your government.”

Yes, indeed. I’m convinced that Janeane Garofalo has lived her entire, miserable life certain that everyone around her is dumb and mean, while never once pausing to ask whether the smell of crap that follows her wherever she goes might just possibly be emanating from that same hole in which her head is apparently buried.

(Link via Peppermint Patty.)