If you follow entertainment/celebrity news at all (and I admit, I’m addicted to the stuff) then the past week probably seemed like a big ol’ helping of deja vu all over again. Back in the news, seemingly back-to-back? Brit-brit, LiLo and Paris… only this none of them made headlines for leaving the house without wearing panties because that’s sooooo 2006.
No, this time we’re reading about how Lindsay Lohan is a free woman again after serving jail time followed by mandatory in-patient drug rehab for violating the terms of her 2007 DUI conviction. An incident, by the way, which also involved a charge of cocaine possession that Lindsay swore wasn’t hers. That charge was later dismissed because
her “her friend’s” dealer stepped on her stuff so heavily it didn’t legally qualify as cocaine.
Of course, Paris Hilton didn’t get quite so lucky when the Vegas police nabbed her for possession this weekend. Like all things “Hilton”, her stuff was the good stuff… but, like Lindsay (and countless teenagers before her), she swears it wasn’t hers. Uh-huh.
So let us examine Exhibit One, in which we have Paris Hilton swooning over a hamburger which, were it held the normal way, would dwarf her thigh:
And Britney, whose own stint in drug rehab seems to have actually worked? She’s been walking tall on the set of Glee and, if rumors are to be believed, might actually be walking down the aisle sometime next year. The only hold up? That pesky ol’ conservatorship that still lets her father call all of the shots in her life. Then again, that might be why Britney’s the only one who seems to be, well, growing up. (And, no, I’m not talking about a father like Lindsay’s who wants to open his own drug rehab then make her his first official patient.)
Seriously, folks, what is this world coming to when Britney Spears is the one who sounds sane???
End times, people. Jus’ sayin’. End times.