Things That Will Change When I’m Thin #1

by Venomous Kate

The diet starts tomorrow. Yeah, I know, I know… that’s what everyone says. But in my case it’s true: today I went by the doctor’s for pre-breakfast blood work. Now I’m waiting on UPS to deliver the materials.

So while I feel very optimistic right now, it’s easy to feel that way the day before a diet starts. Tomorrow I’ll no doubt run into bumps in the road, and by this time next week those bumps might look more like big freaking huge mountains to climb. But why borrow worries? I’m feeling hopeful today.

As an added incentive, though, I’m starting a series of entries to remind myself of things that will change when I’m thin. Such as…

When I’m thin I won’t have to pretend that 3/4 of my clothing is black because I like it that way.

6 Comments to “Things That Will Change When I’m Thin #1”

  1. Imagine the build up of venom by the 3rd week of said Diet?

    Remember D.I.E.I. (Do I eat this?)

  2. Good point, Neal. Maybe I should devise a Venom Threat Level chart, which would basically be the inversion of my monthly weight loss graph.

  3. I knew I had gained too much weight when our producer opened the sliding glass door to go into the house and, seeing me following him in, opened the door wider behind him for me to pass through.

    I’m sure he was just trying to be polite, but…

  4. I hope you achieve your goals, but I really don’t care if you are fat or not. Remember to keep away from the smokes though. They just mellow your harsh.

  5. Good luck. It can be done; I lost about 40 lbs. this year myself and hope to lose another 30.

  6. I like the idea of a VK Threat Level chart. Use a “Snark Scale” for delivery.

    Having said that, I wish you the best of luck and strength following this program. And remember, I still live close enough that if you need to arm-wrestle someone to blow off steam, you can mail me. Or just show up. That’d be wild.

    Luck, strength, patience, and a good place to hide the bodies.