Mayor Says Satanists Made Him Do It
A town mayor resigned from the office he’s held for 6 years now because he just remembered that he was abducted by Satanists and brainwashed, oh, 30 years ago or so.
No, I’m not making it up.
Centerton, Arkansas mayor Don Williams says his real name is Don LaRose, and at some point in the mid-70s he was a preacher in Indiana. He also happened to have a wife and two kids at the time. But, see, after the Satanists kidnapped him, he wound up changing his name and moving to Centerton.
He’s just now remembering thanks to the help of “multiple shock therapy treatments”, an injection of truth serum, and the support of his current wife.
Please feel free to write your own punchline to this story, folks. I seem to be a bit too flabbergasted to make one up myself.
In 16 years, he’ll be the first brainwashed-American to be president following on the heels of nutjob surprises from Arkansas.
I can’t top Brian but I wonder that now he has established (in his mind’s eye) that he is not responsible for his actions, what he is really going to claim he is not responsible for.
Hard to say. I’m still of the mind that what he REALLY did was walk out on his wife and kids intentionally, then found himself a newer model and a chance to start with a clean slate in a new town, then came up with this story when Wife #1 and her family started piecing things together.
Problem is, it’s so very unbelievable that it’s hard not to believe he believes it.
I guess resigning and facing bigamy charges was cheaper than paying blackmail. Someone from his old life must have passed through town and seen a golden opportunity.
Actually, the schmuck had started a web site about Don LeRose (his birth name) and Wife #1s family ran across it. They did a WhoIs search and found it was registered to him under his new name, so they started asking questions about LeRose who’d been missing for years.
That’s when he started “remembering” he’d been kidnapped and brainwashed.