Put The Brakes On The Heeley Fad!
I’ve mentioned before how much I despise dealing with idiots in grocery stores. You know the ones I mean: the people who stand in the middle of the aisle, glassy-eyed and dazed, breathing heavily through their open mouths while staring at the nice, neat little row of boxes and cans as if they cannot remember why on earth they are there?
Being a SAHM, I try to get my grocery shopping done after lunch but before the 9-5 folks want to buzz in and pick up whatever they need at the last minute. It saves my sanity — they’re the second-worst offenders when it comes to that vacant, zombie-like stare. Old people — they are the absolute worst but, hey, they’re old and so I tend to cut them a bit more slack. Perhaps they really don’t remember why they’re there.
Today’s near public outburst was brought on by a teeny-bopper who’d accompanied her zombie-like Mom to the store. Only the kid wasn’t nearly as lethargic as her mother: this one zipped about, darting up and down the aisle at an unnatural speed. She wasn’t walking, she was heeling, as I realized just about the time she collided with an elderly woman heading toward the green beans.
Luckily, the older woman was in one of those ride-on motorized chairs with the cute little basket on front, the ones that go all of 3 m.p.h. She had a nice stable four-wheel base under her, no chance of tipping over. The kid, however, wasn’t so fortunate. She landed flat on her back, her head making a solid, sickening sound as it connected with the cold tile floor. It took a minute for her mother to realize that the prone and semi-conscious figure on the floor was her daughter, who’d quite obviously been dazed by the impact. Within moments, though, the store personnel had called for an ambulance and removed the girl’s Heeley shoes… something her mother should have insisted on long before they left the house.
Dumb ass parent. Dumb ass kid. Odd how things like that run in a family, eh?
*never tease someone who is dieting* *never tease someone who is dieting* *never tease...
And Mom will probably sue the grocery store and the electric cart manufacturer.
I hate Heeley’s and I hate kids that wear Heeley’s, and I probably hate parents that buy their children Heeley’s. It’s another reason for non-disiplined children to be more obnoxious than they were before…and also another reason to want to hit them really hard. Or you could do what I do, and stick your foot out infront of them as they try to zoom by you and then pretend nothing happened and the stupid kid just fell all by themselves.
Hear hear! Fly, that’s precisely what I was going to say.
My 10 year old insisted on getting a pair of Heeley’s from a friend of hers who had outgrown them. Mind you, the child in question is, and I kid you not, the single most accident prone kid I’ve ever met (and that includes my buddy Crash the cop, who has, literally crashed at least one of everything). Putting wheels under that kid is an open invitation to disaster, which is why the wheels suddenly, inexplicably, and mysteriously vanished from the shoes late one night.
Our local grocery banned them and I keep meaning to stop by the customer service desk and thank the manager.
My son’s been begging us for months to get Heeleys for his birthday. Well, his birthday is tomorrow, and he ain’t getting no damn Heeleys.
There’s always a couple kids that have everything, and often have things two or three years before they are old enough, and of course they torture the ones that don’t have these things.
“Why don’t you have Heeleys yet?” “Ask your parents for some Heeleys!”. “I will buy you Heeley’s for your birthday!”
Oh, no you won’t you little thug. My son already has a bicycle and a skateboard, and numerous other means of killing himself and others. We don’t need to add rolling sneakers to the list.
I find it hilarious that so many of these kids — my own daughter included — who want Heeleys would never, ever be caught dead in a roller rink.
NBC News last night did a report on those and said kids should be wearing: helmets, knee guards, and elbow guards. In other words the same things they wear SKATEBOARDING. Would you let a kid skateboarding inside, other than skateboard track that is designed for it?!?
/soapbox
I am old and yes sometimes we do forget why we are there. So will you, eventually.
Today, at the grocery store, one mom, three children say 12, 10 and 8 all wearing heelies, at a chokepoint in the store. Mom just said, “I said watch out when you’ve got those on!”. All three children nearly ran Little Guy and me over. Then, of course, Little Guy says, “Mom, I want some Heelies.” I told him no, they are too dangerous. He believed me since we were just about bowled over…
Frankly, under those circumstances, I believe it ought to be perfectly acceptable to discipline someone else’s kids.