To The Parent With 3 Young Kids At The Movies Today

by Venomous Kate

Note to movie-going parents of young children: I don’t care if your 4-year-old is the next Roger Ebert, or if he’s funnier –in your opinion — than whatever is happening on screen.

I don’t care if you’ve been cooped up indoors with the kiddies for 4 straight weeks and have been saving your nickles and dimes so you can get out of the house before you lose your marbles and become one of “those” parents whose mugshots grace the nightly news.

I don’t care if you don’t have a sitter and think you’ll just die if you can’t see a film on the big screen (trust me, you won’t).

If your kid starts talking, whining, or complaining that he’s crapped in his pants and you can’t get your kid to STFU, then get off your ass, grab your kid and leave the damn theater.

Yes, you might miss some of the film but that’s less potentially harmful to your health than making people like me (who hoped to not just see but also HEAR the movie) have to find an usher to escort you and your crap-pantsed kid out.

Signed,
The Stranger Who Unapologetically Told Your Kid To Hush During “Alice” Today Because You Didn’t

7 Comments to “To The Parent With 3 Young Kids At The Movies Today”

  1. DAMN! I admire your restraint. Me, “I’d” have been the one whose mugshot graced the evening news after that.

  2. It gets tiresome doing what other people only wish they had done! These days, I’m just observing and trying to understand why people claim to hate people like me who do what they –later — said they wish they’d done.

  3. dont forget the people that cant go 2 hours without the damn cell phone on,at least they could put it on vibrate

  4. Everybody and their grandpa have gone to the movies this week – I haven’t gone since ‘Independence Day’ Totally unrelated to the post, but wanted to stop by and say HI!!!!!!!

  5. We had the same experience at Alice. My husband did the shushing. Miserable experience.

  6. For that very reason I’m making it my new policy to only see movies with G and PG ratings LATE at night, instead of during the matinĂ©e. At that point I’ll feel perfectly reasonable asking a theater employee to usher them out.

  7. These kids should be shaving by now. Are you Ok?