(With all due apologies to — and a lingering guilty fondness for — the Bee Gees.)

Tellin’ You Lies

Well you can tell by the way I like to talk,
I’m a politician who doesn’t walk the walk.
That American flag on my lapel pin?
I’ll wear one now if it’ll help me win.
And now it’s all right. I say it’s OK,
Please everyone look the other way.
I don’t really understand
Why the New York Times turned against me, man.

Whether you’re a brother or someone else’s mother
I’m tellin’ you lies, tellin’ you lies.
Feel my poll lead slippin’ and all the Dems are flippin’
So I’m tellin’ you lies, tellin’ you lies.
Ah, ha, ha, HA, tellin’ you lies.
Ah, ha, ha, HA, I’m tellin’ you liiiieeeees.

Well now I used to feel low and so I got high,
Read ’bout it in my book for $7.99.
I act like the Second Coming right down to my shoes,
Long as you don’t know it’s an act I just can’t lose.
And now it’s all right. I say it’s OK,
Please everyone look the other way.
I don’t really understand
Why the New York Times turned against me, man.

Whether you’re a brother or someone else’s mother
I’m tellin’ you lies, tellin’ you lies.
Feel my poll lead slippin’ and all the Dems are flippin’
So I’m tellin’ you lies, tellin’ you lies.
Ah, ha, ha, HA, tellin’ you lies.
Ah, ha, ha, HA, I’m tellin’ you liiiieeeees.

My promises mean nothing. Pretend you don’t see.
Pretend you don’t see, yeah.
My promises mean nothing. Pretend you don’t see.
Pretend you don’t see. Tellin’ you lieeeees.

Whether you’re a brother or someone else’s mother
I’m tellin’ you lies, tellin’ you lies.
Feel my poll lead slippin’ and all the Dems are flippin’
So I’m tellin’ you lies, tellin’ you lies.
Ah, ha, ha, HA, tellin’ you lies.
Ah, ha, ha, HA, I’m tellin’ you liiiieeeees.

My promises mean nothing. Pretend you don’t see.
Pretend you don’t see, yeah.
My promises mean nothing. Pretend you don’t see.
Pretend you don’t see. Tellin’ you lieeeees.
HA, yeah!