I’m Venomous Kate, Beeyotch!
For the record: not only is VH1 romantic, but he’s also easy on the eyes.
What, did you think I’d marry down?
Ordinarily, that’s not a problem. Then there are Saturday nights — like tonight — when neighbors offer to split the sitter fees so we can all go out and enjoy adult company together at a place where real human beings (not plastic recreations of them) take your food and drink order(s).
Which means — if you’re appetizer-eating/drinking kind of people like we are — that every now and then the bathroom trips don’t always sync so that the genders are there at the bar holding each other accountable.
Hence tonight’s Stupid Is As Stupid Does conversation:
Her: “Are you here by yourself?”
VH1: “No. Never. I’m married. Nice talkin’ to ya.”
Her: “Well, where’s your wife then?”
VH1: “She’s in the head… oh, no. Wait, here she is now.”
Me: “Yep, I’m here. Buh-bye.”
Her: “This can’t be your wife. She looks so much younger. Hi, I’m Tiffany.”
Me: “Hon, I own Tiffany. The real stuff. Nice meeting you. Buy-bye.”
Her (to me): “Wanna dance?”
Me: “Look, sweetie, didn’t I make this clear? I wouldn’t touch you with my husband’s, well, you know… Buh-BYE.”
Her: “Well, at least let me buy you a drink.”
Me: “Go away. Go away, NOW.”
What, you thought this was going to be a story about some strange woman with 38-DDs trying to pick up my husband???
Bwahahahaha.
I wanna party with you guys. SRSLY.
Margi’s last blog post..So it’s Friday
Well, on the other hand, this is one of the stories that doesn’t end with a trip to the police station.
Yes; yes, you do. (And hi there, Margi!)
But talk about clueless chippies. *shaking head, amused*
And to think, Doc, we barely got started that night.
*grins*
Hardly even. Of course, there’s always next time we’re in the same zip code…
I’m looking forward to it.
Oh, and I’m going to point out to Margi that the “clueless chippie” comment wasn’t referring to her!
*crimson blush of doom*
You’re right. I hadn’t noticed it could be … Margi, I am sorry if you took it that way.
*cringing*
No sorries – I didn’t take it that way. But when you’re out THIS WAY AGAIN – *cough*
Margi’s last blog post..So it’s Friday
That would be *delightful*.
Hmmmm nicely done. My better half would have danced with her, had HER buy all our drinks, and then drunk her under the table….but she is evil (and quite *thrifty*) that way.
I wasn’t wearing my dancing shoes.
Yikes! But fun.
Jeff’s last blog post..Bullfrog
VH is now complaining that I didn’t film it.
Hell hath no fury like a Venomous Kate!
metal dad’s last blog post..Film and Fundamentalism
Sorry I don’t actually get by the *site* that often, but I try to keep up via RSS. I had to sit back and belly laugh at this one. *shaking head*
We’re still trying to figure out life in western Nevada, after many years in the Texas panhandle. Our approach was the coffee-house scene, where we could find live music (sometimes pretty good) and avoid the, um, attempted pick-up problem… Not that anyone would ever try to pick me up!
I never realized that Western Nevada had a coffee-house scene. I’d love one here, but the only “coffee house” in our town is operated by a Fundamentalist family who hires nothing but Christian musicians. While I am a believer and I do enjoy edifying music, sometimes I’d like to get out to socialize without it always being about the state of my immortal soul, ya know?
Venomous Kate’s last blog post..Recipe Time: Stuffed Chicken Squares