Tippling Tuesday — It’s baaaack!
It’s been a while since we celebrated this much under-appreciated day of the week which I’ve dubbed Tippling Tuesday.
So this week, in recognition of how long it’s been since we’ve all hoisted a glass together, I thought I’d ask:
What’s the most stupid thing you’ve done while drinking?*
Mine has got to be the time when, a few months into dating VH (who lived 2500 miles away at the time), I called his house and started talking dirty on the phone, rather explicitly. About 5 minutes into it I noticed that he was being very, very quiet. Then he cleared his voice and said, “Kate, I think you meant to reach my roommate — the one you’re dating. Let me go get him because I know he’s going to want to hear all that.” I never was able to look his roommate straight in the eye afterwards.
* Note that proposing marriage, accepting marriage proposals or conceiving children doesn’t count… unless you were already married to someone else at the time.
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lmao that was too funny,are you going to share with us what you said?lol
Heck, I don’t even remember!
I once awoke after a party to find myself black and blue all over. I asked my friend what happened and he told me,”You jumped out the window (2nd floor apt.) and landed in the trees outside.You had bet Charlie fifty bucks you could fly.” I asked, “Why didn’t you stop me?” My friend says, “I bet him fifty bucks you could.”
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With friends like that…
My senior year of high school, after a good night out at the pub, my friend and I decided to take a walk to ’sober up’, at which point we decided that going swimming in our underwear (skimpy, might I add) would be fun. With this we proceeded to hop a fence with six inch spikes on top, pants-less. I don’t have a good track record with hopping fences, sober or not, and I lost my footing while straddling the fence and….oh holy ouch. I was very glad, in that moment, that I was not born with a penis. I fell off the fence, my friend laughed manically, as did 3 guards that were watching this attempt. The next time I walked by the pool, the guards were very friendly.
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OUCH! I don’t think I’ll ever look at spiked fences the same way again.
Actually, VK, the dumbest thing I did was while completely sober.
While I was “dating” my ex-wife, I actually stopped drinking. She bought me a bottle of Laiphroiag, and I did not want to waste the stuff. (I still mostly drink cheap scotch, although I do appreciate single malts.)
One night, when I was unfortunately sober, I used the subjunctive: “Would you consider a proposal of marriage?” I would be about a million dollars richer today had she said “No”. Unfortunately, she had a moderately good idea of my net worth, and she agreed; it took her about 52,000 hours to find her next.
I tend to drink more than a little bit now, although I cannot really blame that on her. I stayed more or less sober until she ran off with her current husband. At least, she taught me about women. They are delicious, wonderful, and unreliable.
I think the last time I kissed her was when I drove her to the airport to take an Aeroflot flight to Moscow: she wasn’t just a Russian major in college, but a Communist.
My views about women are now more mature. (Well, I’m old enough to need Viagra, and, with hypertension, I’m not about to risk that; so that really is not a factor.)
My late father advised me to look for a young woman, a Republican, a Lutheran or Presbyterian, and a Registered Nurse. Given that Lutherans and Presbyterians are not reliably conservative, and that Republicans are not reliably conservative, I have to take his advice with a grain of salt.
Now, J. Otto, I was specifically thinking of you when I stated: “Note that proposing marriage…doesn’t count… unless you were already married to someone else at the time.”
However, as you pointed out, you were unfortunately sober.
I’d tend to agree with your father’s advice but for the fact that R.N.’s — although not licensed to perform surgical actions — certainly know enough about the human body to at least attempt them, if sufficiently pissed off.
And since Wife #1 took everything but the family jewels, well, I’d recommend steering clear of a woman who’s actually been educated to remove those, because what’s left after they’re gone?
I’m a day late on this one… It was late October of 1990 in the Midwest. I was 18, stupid and much, much thinner than I am today. A friend’s family was having kegger and bonfire in honor of his birthday. There was a picnic table, AC/DC music and a striptease involved. The guy I was seeing at the time drove me home, carried me up the stairs to my apartment, tucked me in and hid my car keys. I had to call him early the next morning to ask where he hid my keys as being the good Catholic girl, I had to get myself to Church and Confession before mass, a mass which I was scheduled to be the Lecture for. Now I shall go hide in shame.
It’s all right, Chelle. I’m Catholic, too. I’m rather confident we’ve both spent enough time on our knees since our transgressions that we’re most likely forgiven, if not by our own actions then because of how many times we’ve made someone say “Oh, God” since then.