If the resurgence of hip-hugger jeans and platform shoes wasn’t enough to leave us all feeling that everything old is new again, now there’s another blast from the past about to return: stagflation. Those of us who survived the 70s remember all too well that peculiar combination of inflation combined with economic stagnation triggered by the oil price spike, and how smart investors fled the stock market, preferring to buy gold instead.

Fed Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke is hoping to keep the surge in oil prices from sparking stagflation which could cripple the economy for years.

“Maintaining confidence in the Fed’s commitment to price stability remains a top priority as the central bank navigates the current complex situation,” he said in a speech earlier this month.

But few Fed watchers count on him to back up that talk with action anytime soon.

Most expect the Fed to sustain its overnight ultra-low borrowing rate of 2 percent at its policy meeting this week.

Despite what the woman with the annoying fake-British accent assures us in commercials, those who buy gold don’t always turn into overnight millionaires (and they don’t always listen to Beethoven, either). When it comes to gold as an investment the trick is to understand that gold moves in the opposite direction of currency: you buy it when the dollar’s low and sell it when the dollar’s high.

What’s curious, however, is that even as the dollar has steadied in anticipation of the Fed’s meeting, Fidelity International announced today that we’ve entered a period of global stagflation. Their recommendation? Ditch equities and buy gold and government bonds.

Or so an “urgent” email alert from our investment company urged me this morning.

My response: buy it with what? Between losing half of our home’s equity in the past six months and the price of everything else going up, the only way we can possibly afford gold is if one of us gets a cavity that needs to be filled. Which reminds me… VH is due for a dental appointment.