A Little Pre-Thanksgiving Unpleasantness

by Venomous Kate

Have I ever told you that Thanksgiving is my very favorite holiday of the year? It’s true, I love it even more than Christmas (sorry, baby Jesus) or my own birthday (which really ought to be a national holiday, don’t you think?) despite the lack of gifts associated with Thanksgiving. See, it’s all about the food. Or, rather, the lack of guilt over eating it. What other meal is it not only acceptable, but actually encouraged, to gorge one’s self to the point of pain and then, as soon as a bit of wiggle’s returned to the waistband of your pants, do it again and again? As someone who loves to cook — and to eat — it’s the perfect holiday!

Or, rather, it would be the best holiday of all if there wasn’t pressure to get together with far-away family members, particularly She Who Must Not Be Named, who begins her campaign of terror and manipulation hinting about getting together for the holidays sometime in March.

Last year, I was smart enough to pre-empt her visit by inviting my mother who waited until the last minute (at my request) to let me know she couldn’t make it. By then, it was too late for SWMNBN to make travel plans. Even the discount car rental places were all booked up. Pity.

This year, I really can’t get out of it. After all, I stayed home alone this summer when VH and the Big-Eyed Boy went to pay homage visit. Fortunately, she can only stay three days, and not the marathon week- or two-week visits of years past. Sure, it still means the same amount of vacuuming, scrubbing and dusting, and I’ll be making — and doing the dishes by myself after — three meals a day while she’s here. But it’s only three days and, best yet, she’s flying out ON Thanksgiving morning.

That’s right: I’ll be getting the holiday visit with her over before the actual holiday! If you ask me, that’s a good enough reason to have a second piece of pumpkin pie. Maybe even a third.

7 Comments to “A Little Pre-Thanksgiving Unpleasantness”

  1. Or a fifth. Of bourbon.

  2. Who needs a reason for more pie?

  3. I was thinking about getting one of those cajun turkeys at popeyes or bojangles

  4. I’ll be sleeping on my back that night.

  5. Brian, Yes, that would work!
    Boyd, I like the way you think!
    Infidel, I haven’t tried the one at Popeye’s, but Bojangle’s is pretty darned good!
    Twoma, Might want to keep one eye open, too.

  6. Geez, I hope your mother-in-law doesn’t read your blog…

  7. My husband and I have asked her in the past not to read it, largely because we have extremely different political perspectives so my blog would cause all sorts of arguments. Then there were the times she’d call after reading about one of my frustrating parenting days, which compelled her to give me lectures and all sorts of unsolicited advice.

    So, if she still reads now despite our requests, she gets what she deserves.