Week two of the workout/diet thing. I’m not in nearly as much pain. The perky spandex-clad bitch on my exercise tape says to try talking as I exercise to make sure I’m not “working too hard”. I follow her instructions by cussing her out. That’s my favorite part of the tape.

I managed to throw an Atkins-friendly dinner party and didn’t cheat once last week. Every day’s email brings yet another story of someone who lost 20 lbs. during their first two weeks on this diet. Meanwhile, I’ve lost all of two pounds. However, I’m not getting winded while reading email and I can prove it by the way I cuss out those folks, too.

Are there actually people who think this is good for them?