Did anyone play a good April Fool’s joke? Were you the victim of one?

I escaped without one single prank, and I’m relieved. Although I love a good practical joke, most of those played on April 1 suck. They’re unimaginative. Poorly planned. Humorlessly executed. In fact, April Fool’s Day is to a good practical joke what Christmas Eve shopping is to a good gift.

Besides, I think my husband has learned the hard way about trying to play practical jokes on me. In our first year of marriage, he got the “bright idea” to put plastic wrap on the toilet then waited to hear my scream. Silly man. I knew he was up to something when I saw that the toilet seat was actually down for a change, so I removed the plastic wrap, peed, then put it back into place and waited. Sure enough, he screamed like a girl.

Five years ago, he waited until I was sleeping, then filled my car with crumpled newspaper, shoving it under the seats, into the glove compartment, the cupholders, the ashtray. He even wrapped the steering wheel in it and covered the window visors. Funny, huh? Not nearly as funny as when I grabbed his keys and drove his car to work that morning.

This year, I half-expected he’d at least try. Sure, every joke he’s tried to play has pretty much backfired. I mean, you just don’t try to outsmart a devious woman who prides herself on her ability to pull off a good prank. It’s dangerous. Not to mention, it can lead to an escalation that you’re just not equipped to handle. I think Hubby’s finally learned that.

Not me.

My practical joke? I waited until he was in a dead sleep, then pulled the bed sheet up to his chin and duct taped him down to the bed. Then, after I’d set the radio alarm clock to go off at 3 a.m. and play disco – loudly – I took some good ol’ plastic wrap and more duct tape and covered the doorway leading out of our bedroom. And I waited.

I’m not sure which was more hilarious: seeing him stumble around the bedroom with duct tape and a sheet trailing after him as he tried finding where I’d hidden the blaring radio, or watching him bounce off the plastic wrap in the doorway five or six times before figuring out what I’d done.

Next year, I’m going to be out of town for April Fool’s Day. Just to be safe.