It’s been a while since I posted about the Fang Fiasco, so I thought I’d update everyone on the status. This has been the longest 3 months of my life!

I had the final upper bridge installed two weeks ago and it’s lovely. I wish I could say the same thing for the lower bridge, but it was a major disappointment for both me and my dentist. For some reason, the lab made the lower bridge so the teeth have an odd slope on the cutting edge. The right incisor is rounded and utterly useless for chewing. The base of the teeth are rather bulbous, actually sloping outwards from the gum and then inwards toward the top edge where (in addition to not being level) the cutting edges curve inwards toward my tongue. In other words: there’s no way in hell they’re staying in there.

Last week my dentist took new impressions for the lower bridge and sent them off — with a long list of instructions — to the lab. I was supposed to have the new bridge installed on Monday… then I looked at the calendar.

The way things have been going, I’m not all that confident that the new lower bridge will be acceptable, much less that I’ll actually be able to eat with it in there. What with entertaining guests and Thanksgiving Dinner next week, it’s not a risk I’m willing to take just yet. I figure that the current bridge, although unattractive, is at least mostly servicable. What if the lab screws up again and I can’t chew nearly as well… or even at all?

So I pushed my appointment back to November 28, and hopefully that will be the date when I can proudly announce that all of this dental crap is finally — finally! — over and done with. I figure it’ll take two days for the numbness and swelling to subside (hey, you try having a grown man’s hands crammed in your mouth for an hour and see if your face and mouth don’t swell up!) and then I’ll post pictures. All of them — from the first post-accident photo through the temporary “flipper” shots and the final, permanent bridges that will, ultimately, ensure I can flash Flawless Fangs.