Scene: December, 2002: Wife is cleaning house prior to her mother’s month-long visit.

Husband: You’ve been working on that laundry closet for hours now. What’s the problem?
Wife: The dryer is old, sweetie. It keeps putting out lint everywhere. Honey, we really need a new dryer.
Husband: I think we can get by with ours a little while longer.
Wife: (sighs) Whatever you say, dear.

Scene: April, 2003: Wife spends entire Easter weekend cleaning house while Husband plays on beach with child.

Husband: It sure is taking a long time to clean. How come?
Wife: It’s the dryer, hon. I’ve told you: it’s old. It’s spitting out lint. So even though I dust and vacuum the whole house every other day, I still have to clean every little nook and cranny to get the lint out of here. We really do need a new dryer, dear.
Husband: I’ll take a look at it and see if I can get it to work right.

(Husband later announces that he’s “fixed” the dryer.)

Scene: Late May, 2003: Husband is on vacation from work. Wife spends 6 to 8 hours each day of his vacation doing “Spring Cleaning.”

Husband: Why on earth is it taking so long to do Spring Cleaning? You used to be able to get it done in a couple of days!
Wife: Because, you ass, the fucking dryer is so goddamed old it’s spitting out more lint than it’s catching on the goddamned lint trap, so I have to fucking clean all the goddamned time. I’ve told you before, you cheap-skate SOB, we need a new fucking dryer!
Husband: I bet they’ll go on sale in a few months. We can talk about getting one then.
Wife: Asshole.

Scene: Husband is sitting on sofa, remote control in one hand, beer in the other. As he channel-cruises, Wife dusts and vacuums the same rooms she’d just dusted and vacuumed the day before, but which look as if they hadn’t been cleaned for months.

Husband: What’s wrong with the TV screen? I can’t see a thing!
Wife: (walks up to screen and wipes it off with dust cloth then shows him the blackened cloth) Dryer lint.
Husband: Holy shit! We need a new dryer!

UPDATE: 05.25.03: My new dryer is sitting in the back of my Jeep, waiting to be installed. Heh.

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