Having just finished my latest round of Thank You notes, I thought I’d update the tracker and tell you how far your generosity has brought me toward the goal. As of 10:07 PM, the Fund is almost 2/3 of the way there as you can see by the Fang Fund Tracker in the sidebar.
Thanks to your donations, I was able to give my dentist a check for a partial payment toward the overall bill. It was a thrill to see his astonishment that I’d come up with the money overnight. When I told him that the funds came from people on the internet who donated at my website, I think he might’ve briefly entertained the notion that perhaps I ran one of those websites. (Although, come to think of it, I imagine there are some guys out there who’d be intrigued by my lack of teeth.) Heh.
There’s just barely over $3,000 to go until I can completely color in the Fang Fund tracker in the sidebar. I’m so very, very amazed and grateful for your donations and kind words of support. Thank you all for answering my prayers.
Thursday, August 4th, 2005, 9:15 pm | 
My Venomous Life | 
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August 5, 2005 at 12:40 am
Aren’t you supposed to be in bed resting your gums, young lady?
August 5, 2005 at 8:09 am
I will admit, I actually thought about making that particular joke, but decided not to since I’m new to commenting here.
August 5, 2005 at 8:24 am
No need to hold back, WG. I’m always up for a good joke.
August 5, 2005 at 9:16 am
I guess this is the point where I make a crack about your bark having to be worse than your bite.
August 5, 2005 at 9:19 am
Yep. On the other hand, this is the point where I can clearly prove my detractors wrong: I obviously don’t have my head up my ass, or my teeth would be just fine.
August 5, 2005 at 9:41 am
Bright spots in it all:
You could start an alternate show about biking and call it “American Choppers”. Wait, that’s already taken….
You could learn to play the banjo, and not seem outta place.
Karaoke with the “Shoop Shoop” song is now much easier.
Debates over it being Wabbit Season or Duck Season are now much more one-sided, and thus prone to less confusion.
You have a ready-made excuse for ice cream at any point in time. Don’t tell me you haven’t already taken full advantage of that.
Now that your teeth aren’t attached to you, you could string them on a gold chain around your neck and tell your children stories of how tough their mommy is. “Yeah, your dad’s in the Army, but I’m so tough, I knocked out my OWN teeth. And I didn’t get paid by the Tooth Fairy, either.”
Come to think of it, using your teeth to open a bottle of beer is now a much more interesting phenomenon.
Threats to knock your teeth out can be met with a snappy, “I already did that, dumbass!”
You are no longer at risk of some Internet snake-handler trying to catch you and make antivenin.
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August 5, 2005 at 8:21 am