I think I’ll start sending flowers to myself everytime she offends me. My house will look like somebody died with all those flowers, but maybe she won’t be able to find me in them.

Of course, everyone associated with me knows that I ignore birthdays, and almost all other holidays. Starting with the divorce, I do (initially to annoy my ex-wife, but now a pleasant tradition) give $XX (less than $100) to my ex-step-children and my ex-nieces at Christmas.

I cannot imagine a mother-in-law such as yours. My parents kept out of my failed marriage; at the time of the divorce, they just insisted that my then wife sign a quit-claim deed on the land in Iowa. (In fairness to my ex-wife, she did; and even paid the notary public fee.)

Well, actually I can imagine; but I thought that such women occurred only in novels.