Yep, it’s time for The friday Five:

1. What was your most memorable moment from the last week? Tearing a certain blog troll a new – Regrettably, after consultation with my legal counsel, I must decline to answer the question and invoke my 5th Amendment rights and privileges.

2. What one person touched your life this week? Someone touched it?!! I don’t recall giving consent for someone to touch my life! Now, where did I put my lawyer’s phone number….

3. How have you helped someone this week? I recommended that a certain someone get a rectal-cranial extraction….

4. What one thing do you need to get done by this time next week? I need to find a list that doesn’t ask such “touchy-feely” peacenik questions.

5. What one thing will you do over the next seven days to make your world a better place? I will not kill people who piss me off. I will not kill people who piss me off. I will not —

Oh! What will I do over the next 7 days to make my world a better place. Gotcha.

I will let people who piss me off live. I will let people who piss me off live. I will…

Friday, March 28th, 2003, 8:55 pm   |   My Venomous Life  |  RSS feed Comments and pings are currently closed.

It’s that time again:

1. Do you like talking on the phone? Why or why not?
No. I hate it. Few people are smart enough to spontaneously string together sentences into something interesting so I find listening to them is a mind-numbing waste of time.

2. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
The idiot who called 3 times today despite my repeated insistence that no one named Jose lives here.

3. About how many telephones do you have at home?
One.

4. Have you encountered anyone who has really bad phone manners? What happened?
I married him despite listening to him burp, eat and suck his teeth while we talked. Now I get to hear that in person.

5. Would you rather pick up the phone and call someone or write them an e-mail or a letter? Why or why not?
E-mail: (1) I don’t have toendure twiddleheaded ramblings to get my point across; (2) When they reply, I can claim my computer crashed and wiped out my inbox.

Friday, March 14th, 2003, 12:41 pm   |   My Venomous Life  |  RSS feed Comments and pings are currently closed.