When I signed up for Amazon Prime based on its free 2-day shipping for any product stocked by Amazon.com, I’d done my math. At $79 per year for a Prime membership, I’d still be saving over $200 in shipping and handling costs. (Yes, we shop that much via Amazon now that filling a gas tank requires a second mortgage.)

What I didn’t calculate: the unholy amount of extra carbon emissions just about any order via Amazon now entails.

For instance, today I ordered a MathStart 2 book for my son (since I’m having a difficult time conveying the concept of “regrouping” to him), along with a couple of grilling accessories so VH can do a little more cooking now that the weather is warm and a pedometer for myself so I can work off those rib-eyes.

I selected the option to “Group my order into as few shipments as possible,” not only for my convenience, but because I’m certain our UPS Dude gets tired of driving all this way to drop off one package one day, and another the next.

So what did Amazon do? Despite the fact that ALL of the items are shipping from Amazon, and regardless of my shipping request, I am getting five — count ‘em, 5 — separate boxes. One will arrive tomorrow. Another one will arrive on Wednesday. The third is expected on Thursday, and the final two are scheduled for delivery on Friday.

That’s as few shipments as possible?

Man, my UPS Dude is going to put me on his Shit List.