Yesterday afternoon, I noticed a major loss in water pressure throughout the house. Most of the time when the water has gone out (which has occurred at least a dozen times in the past year), it’s been due to the construction up the road where the Board of Water Supply has been widening the lines. So, I figured this was more of the same and didn’t worry. I couldn’t do dishes or laundry, but I had bottled water so it wasn’t time to panic. Not until I couldn’t take a shower, that is. So I called the water company.

There must be something in the water at their office, because I wound up talking to one idiot right after the other, all of whom seemed intent on implying that I was to blame for the water pressure.

“Have you checked the main valve running from the street?” they asked.

“Why would I do that? That’s your job!”

“Oh, but some little kid might have turned it off.”

“Really? Well, too bad I don’t know where to look for it or how to fix it. Please come check it for me.”

“Well, but if that’s all it is we would’ve made a trip for nothing. Go check it and call us.”

“No, no, NO. You don’t understand: I have never seen such a valve here. I don’t know what to look for. I don’t know what to do even if I saw a valve, and I don’t know where my husband’s tools are to help me turn the damn thing even if I found it. Now, come fix it!”

So, they finally promised to come find out why I have no pressure but said it might be as long as 24 hours before they get here. Fine, I replied. It might be snowing before I pay my next water bill, too.

Anyway, as soon as I got off the phone I decided that I might as well try to find this valve they were talking about, so I went out to the back of the house and started looking. Lo and behold, I found a geyser of water taller than I am, gushing from the ground up into the air and soaking everything in sight. There’s a river now running under my house toward the street and a gully lining the highway as water gushes along.

So, I called the water company again. “It’s an emergency now,” I explained.

“We’ll try to get there by this time tomorrow,” they replied. When I went ballistic and explained that the gushing water was ruining everything under my house they responded: “Maybe you should call a plumber if it’s an emergency, eh? ‘Cuz everybody here gettin’ ready to go to lunch and dey’s gonna be no crew to come out for another coupla hours.”

Argh!

UPDATE: I may have to re-think my hatred of cell phones since I was able to call the Venomous Hubby and lure him away from his golf game to come take a look at the pipes. Within 5 minutes of getting home, he’d turned off the water main, identified the problem and left for the hardware store to get the 12″ of PVC pipe needed to fix the damn thing.

My man rocks!