My tattoo-artist friend is coming to town next week. For my Christmas present, she wants to give me a tattoo since she’s been trying to talk me into getting inked for years. For her Christmas present I’m going to let her give me one.
A small one, most likely on my shoulder where I’ve been told it will hurt the least.
So, what should I get?
Monday, December 15th, 2008, 2:21 pm | 
My Venomous Life | 
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December 15, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Meh. I’d say nothing.
December 15, 2008 at 3:47 pm
I’m a licensed tattoo artist in NC – shoulder doesn’t hurt too much (both of mine are done). Myself, I have been tattooed over 14 times (currently, my right arm is being worked in to a half sleeve). My boobs were the least painful for me. I will tell you the most painful tat places are the ribs and foot. (although I did have one girl have an orgasm when she got her foot tatted… I made sure to clean the chair real well cause that was just weird.)
Anyway, so far as what you should get …. personally I would just stay with what means something to you. I have all three of my kids’ names tatted on me (but not my husband’s, no way). Some people will just tat their kids’ birthdays instead of the names. Angelina Jolie had a good idea by having the latitude and longitude of the birthplace of her children on her. You can’t go wrong with a tat dedicated to your child.
BTW, stars are the new butterfly – remember the early 90s when every girl had to have a freaking butterfly tatted on them? Now it’s stars… seriously… freaking stars…. shooting stars, nautical stars…
December 15, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Gotta say, there’s just something about a tramp stamp…
December 15, 2008 at 5:40 pm
A martini glass with a snake curling around it.
December 15, 2008 at 5:56 pm
But what if I stop liking snakes?
December 15, 2008 at 5:57 pm
You mean like one that says “This end up”?
December 15, 2008 at 6:01 pm
There’s no way I’m commemorating either of my kids with a tat. My (much wider) body is pretty much a memorial to them.
And I hear ya on the star thing. Ain’t happening.
December 15, 2008 at 8:37 pm
You’d have to suddenly become less venomous. I don’t see that happening…you are a reformed lawyer after all.
December 15, 2008 at 9:09 pm
find a mendhi that you like.
December 15, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Something kaleidoscopic, stained glassish, mandala-like.
December 15, 2008 at 10:28 pm
It is too hard to limit the imagination to just one thing. Here is a list of notions for your consideration.
An unadorned circle, a martini glass, a grace note, the script capital letter I, an Ogden Nash poem, the Illuminati pyramid from the one dollar bill, a Clydesdale, the Hatteras lighthouse, or two pair of F-15s in trailing formation flying over the top of your shoulder.
Honestly though, nothing could be more attractive than a smile. No tat required.
December 16, 2008 at 8:49 am
I really tried to come up with something, but I keep returning to the main problem I have with tattoos. Years from now, when you are bouncing your grandchildren on your knees, that tattoo is going to be a green-gray amorphous blob on your shoulder…it’ll look like some sort of necrotic skin disease…unless you periodically get it re-inked.
Since it’s on your shoulder, it won’t be totally affected by aging skin…but I can’t imagine what a person’s tattoo would look like on an area that is subject to some extreme “wrinklage”…ewww.
December 16, 2008 at 10:13 am
The expansion factor is something I’ve been considering, too. That’s why I was leaning toward a nickle-sized tattoo. I figure by the time I’m 80, it’ll be the size of a half-dollar, and that’s still comparatively small, right?
December 16, 2008 at 10:30 am
ewwww… I’d never considered what a tattoo might look like after having aged. Thank you for that mental image.
December 16, 2008 at 11:59 am
except for #2 Son and my daughter, our whole family in inked. my last one was a Sacred Heart with 3 crosses on my right calf. Mrs. Metal Dad and her twin sister have matching tats on their shoulder and chest. #1 Son has a large, elaborate Quoy fish on his calf. i am going soon to have “For those I love I will sacrifice” done on the inside of my arms.
when my sister was here last i went with her and she got a crane on her shoulder, looks nice.
welcome to the inked family.
December 16, 2008 at 12:30 pm
“In case of death, this side up” on your butt.
“In case your horny, this side up” above your belly button (NOT below it).
December 16, 2008 at 12:55 pm
ya could always deal with that issue easily enough by getting, err…
an acordeon?
*ducks and runs*
December 16, 2008 at 1:27 pm
When I was in the Army I was testing for the Expert Field Medical Badge (which I earned- thank you very much).
One of the guys in my tent was a medic with Airborne wings. He had his wings tattooed on his chest- so I asked him if he was going to have an EFMB done as well.
He said no- he wanted the wings done so that if he was ever captured- his captors couldn’t take his wings away.
I replied, “Sure they can- it’s just going to hurt like h***”
His head snapped around. He had apparently never considered *that* possibility before.
As far as a suggestion for you- I’d stick with the classic “Born to Boogie” on the inside of your thigh.
December 16, 2008 at 6:47 pm
I won’t bother to say “DON’T”.
As an educated dirty old man, I would suggest a rose, somewhere well hidden by a bikini. (In front.)
Or, remembering how the bikini wa named, maybe the mushroom cloud over Bikini Atoll?
December 16, 2008 at 6:55 pm
As a public service, I no longer wear bikinis. Trust me.
That said, VH1 did suggest a certain mathematical symbol for 3.14159265 on my bikini area. But, like I said, the tattoo artist is a good friend of mine and I wouldn’t put her through that, either.
December 17, 2008 at 11:01 am
A single curving fang with one beautiful drop of venom?
December 17, 2008 at 6:20 pm
How about my blog address? Great promotion material right there. =D
December 18, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Asp wrapped around a martini glass.
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