Once upon a time, I talked VH into buying me an exercise bike. “I’ll ride it while I watch TV,” I said. “Think of how great my legs will look!” Being a genuinely nice but very naive man, he bought it. That was four years ago. I’ve put on less than 100 miles since.

Oh, it’s a nice enough exercise bike. It has all the bells and whistles: pulse monitoring, calorie count, distance and time reporting. A nice little fan. A cup-holder. If I wanted to, I could even hook it up to my laptop and go on a “virtual bike ride” at some website. If I wanted to being the key phrase.

Being all of 5’2″ (ok, almost 5’2″), I found the handlebar was too high, even on its lowest setting. Likewise, after the first five minutes, I found that I had to peddle mostly with my toes because the seat was too high. As for the seat itself: pain. Sheer, unmitigated pain… which makes no sense because, honestly, my ass has plenty of its own padding built-in.

Riding that bike has been a miserable experience. By the time I reach 5 miles my back is killing me from trying to reach the handlebars. If I abandon the handle and simply sit up straight, I find that I can’t sit down on anything for days. Plus, it’s boring. Boooooring. I hate that bike. I hate it, hate it, hate it.

Well, I hated it until yesterday.

I’ve always wondered if there’s a way to use my laptop while riding my bike. VH has tried a number of solutions, but none of them have worked very well. So my exercise bike has gathered dust and doubled as a towel rack. Until now.

Last night, I asked VH if we could trade my bike in for a recumbent bike. You know, the kind that let you pedal while seated. I figured I could put my laptop on a TV tray near the bike and use a wireless mouse to surf the net while peddling away.

Then VH came up with a freakin’ brilliant idea: don’t sit ON the bike, sit in FRONT of it.

My bike’s calorie counter and distance meter work whether I’m pedaling backwards or forwards, and the pedals themselves are the same in either direction. So, parking my butt on the floor right in front of the bike, I stuck my feet on the pedals and — voila! — found it works just as well.

Now, that was dandy and made for a very, very comfortable 5-mile ride… while lying down. Yes, that’s right: supine on the floor, feet on the pedals, I happily did 5 miles in 23 minutes with absolutely NO back or butt pain. I even pulled up a pair of dumb-bells and worked my arms, then did some crunches (which, oddly enough, resembled the ol’ ‘bicycle crunch’) while peddling away. Twenty-three minutes and I had a whole body workout. Nice.

This morning, I decided to try a new variation. So I turned the bike around to face a wall and threw a pillow on the floor to sit on. Leaning against the wall, laptop and wireless mouse on the floor next to me, I put in another 5 miles. My legs, although feeling rubbery from so much unfamiliar use, don’t hurt at all.

No, I mean that: they don’t hurt at all. My aching joints AREN’T aching today. Maybe it had something to do with having my legs elevated while getting the blood pumping in them? Or maybe it was just getting blood to them, period. Either way, I’m thrilled to have discovered a comfortable, fairly simple way to work out without exacerbating my aches and pains.

Plus, I still get to keep using my exercise bike as a towel rack.

Nice.

Tuesday, May 15th, 2007, 11:59 am   |   My Venomous Life  |  RSS feed Comments and pings are currently closed.