Next Spring I’m Planting Landmines
I have a clearly worded, plastic-coated sign right above my doorbell. It reads:
NO Drop-Ins.
NO solicitors.
NO exceptions
So I swear the next time some idiot rings my doorbell in the middle of the day trying to hawk some “all natural” miracle cleaning product for the mere price of $39.99 is going to have their eyeballs ripped out and shoved up their backsides where, evidently, they also keep their brains.
Naturally, I let him have both barrels of venom. Then I suggested he go ring the doorbell of the Crazy Next Door Neighbor who, if I recall correctly, tries to put her loud and obnoxious kid down for a nap right about now.
Two evil deeds for the price of one. Gotta love it.
It would be fun to have a sign like that… “Attention all solicitors, the yard is filled with landmines… don’t test me.”
of course, you would probably have the cops/bomb squad show up at your door
Yep. Then I’d have to tell them that the Crazy Neighbor’s kids put the sign up as prank.. Mwahahahaha.
HA. I let any dumb ass who rings my doorbell in and unleash my children on them…who of course act as if they have never seen another human being. They leave quickly and never come back!