Some people leave messages for themselves on their voice mail to remind them of things they’d otherwise forget. I’m using my blog instead. You won’t be interested. I promise.

I will not kill my husband. I will not kill my husband. I will not kill my husband. I will not kill my husband. I will not kill my husband. I will not kill my husband. I will not kill my husband. I will not kill my husband. I will not kill my husband. I will not kill my husband. I will not kill my husband. I will not kill my husband. I will not kill my husband. I will not kill my husband. I will not kill my husband. I will not kill my husband.I WILL NOT KILL MY HUSBAND.

UPDATE: Second note to self: You don’t look good in prison orange. Do not kill your husband.