Snow Dummies
What is it about snow that brings out the idiot in people?
It was bad enough that so many folks went out driving in the near whiteout conditions yesterday. Enough of them, apparently, that our little town felt the need to interrupt cable programming with a high-pitched, blood pressure-spiking alarm followed by a notice that the city’s emergency snow ordinance had been imposed and drivers were to get their cars off the roads.
Heck, we had to fish a couple of those idiots out of their cars yesterday when they collided at the end of our street because none of them could actually see each other as they puttered along the road they also couldn’t see.
Today, the rest of the idiots are out in full force.
Yes, Dear Neighbor, it’s a magical freaking winter wonderland out there with 9 inches of pristine white snow. But that does not justify grabbing your three grandchildren to go sledding on the hill behind my house at 10 o’clock on a Sunday morning. Don’t you know they’re supposed to be sitting nice and quiet in church somewhere so heathens like me can sleep in?
That’s right: I was sleeping. All that talk about liability issues and worries over your little darlings falling into the semi-frozen creek in my backyard was a sham to get you off my property and back to your own damn house where you belong.
Wasn’t the snowman on our front yard that’s holding a plastic sub-machine gun sufficient warning that perhaps the occupants don’t like trespassers???
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Perhaps a certain gun-running Texan you know could arrange for a real sub-machine gun to kinda help get the point across???
Jeff’s last blog post..Drivin? & Yakkin?
But then I’d have to stand guard over the snowman to make sure none of the nearby idiots stole the real one.
For a brief second there I was jealous that you’ll have a white Christmas and I won’t, then I came to my senses.
I am jealous you have a sledding hill in your backyard.
Bryan’s last blog post..Rudy G.
It’s great in the winter, but not so much so in the summer when we want to play tag or catch.
It sounds just lovely. Over on the other side of Missouri it is just as cold and windy, but all of our snow melted away on Saturday in a freak heat wave.
I understand that my in-laws are coming over for the holiday; so, take a second look as you try out your new red dot laser pistol sight, it might be me on the sledding hill come Christmas morning.
Fair enough, Rammer. But watch out for the bottle of vodka I have chilling in the snow on the hillside.