First of all a “tattoo appropriate for 40-somethings” is an oxymoron. If you didn’t start getting tattoos in your twenties then you need to think like a twenty something to choose one.

I knew a guy who was p*s*y whipped. His girlfriend had him get permanent eye-liner tattooed on his eyes. (Disclaimer: This might have been a lie so we didn’t know he used eye-liner daily but I don’t think so.) Maybe something like ‘permanent makeup’ can be your trial run.

Uh-uh. No one is getting a needle near my eye, or my lips. I’ve seen too many “permanent makeup” mistakes to even think about that. Had a Korean friend who decided to get “permanent eyebrows” (meaning she had to shave her real ones regularly) and as she grew older the right one grew lower than the left.

Gave her a very, very odd look.

Maybe our initials surrounded by a snake? That’d be rather ‘venomous.’

The anniversary gift tattoo is a nice one- my dh had this little heart on his chest before we were married. 3 months into dating he had my initials tattooed into the heart. On our 3rd anniversary- I had a matching tattoo with his initials put on my chest. Incidentally- my Mother came along and announced she wanted to tattoo a stem of cherries on her bootie. As of yet- 10 years later she does not have cherries on her bum. My Dad was anti-tattoo- but he passed away this May. SO who knows next time I fly out to see her I’ll check out the old ladies moon for fruit. Good luck with the tat- Michelle

“I’ll check the old ladies moon for fruit.” I’m going to be chuckling over that sentence for a while, Michelle.

Boyd suggests something on the small of the back. I never knew this about my husband …

Now you’re making me want to do this. The subject comes up periodically and I always chicken out. But I’m leaning more towards a barbed wire bracelet.

Bah, there’s no normal tattoo range anymore. I’ve got 3 and am always on the lookout for more. My favorite two are the one on my foot (a musical treble clef with four eighth notes – each of the kids) and I have hebrew script tatted on my neck (shalom – was going through a rough patch at the time and wanted peace).

I particularly want something on the inside of my left wrist, but haven’t found what I want just yet. Whatever you get, make sure it’s representative of you or has special meaning for you. I was personally thinking a snake wrist-wrap would be cute while I was reading the post. You could have both you and VH’s initials as details in the snake or something.

Hmm… I’m not so sure I want one on my wrist – I kind of like the thought of having one in a place that doesn’t always show. Tari, tell your husband I’m not about to get a tramp stamp on the small of my back — the way things are going it’d be down to my knees by my 20th anniversary.

But a snake anklet… that’s one I might very well do!

I personally have never seen a tattoo that I liked and I am grateful I missed out on the body art generation.

As a “pool” Dad, I spend a lot of time at the local swimming hole and I see the Mom’s and Dad’s who got tattoo’s in high school and college and, while I am sure they were cool at the time they were drawn, gravity is starting to take its toll and they are but a shadow of their former glory.

While I would never tell anyone what to do with their own body, I would, however, suggest a non visible area to decorate.

Do NOT get his name or your initials. Very bad juju.

The problem that you’re going to run into with a small tattoo is lack of detail.

Take Bob, my tattoo, for an example.
When my guy initially showed me Bob, Bob was the size of a sheet of notebook paper. He was SO handsome. But, I am 5′2″ and the original Bob would have literally covered my entire back.

I convinced my guy to shrink Bob down a bit. Though he’s not “small” by any means, little Bob lost some of the amazing detail that big Bob had.

Now, I’m not trying to convince you to get an entire back piece or a sleeve by any means, but, you might really think about your definition of “small”.
Trust me when I say that if you go into a studio and say “I want something little” they’re going to do crap work and charge you out the ass for it.

Instead, have a few ideas of what you’re looking for, i.e., do you want color or gray scale, do you want fantasy or realism, what is the largest that you will go…etc.
That will allow your guy (or girl) to do what they do best – be an artist.

Red really wanted a large hairy spider tattooed crawling out of her belly button. I wasn’t keen on the idea, and managed to convince her not to.

I’ve been wanting a tattoo of a Chinese dragon on my back for years now, but I would spend some time looking at patterns & ideas online; just google “tattoo” and start looking. Find an image that works for you – one lady I work with has the footprints of her two kids (from their birth certificates) with their dates of birth tattooed on her lower leg.

go for it, if that’s what you want. i was almost 50 when i got my first ink. my wife and her sister (twins) got matching tats for their 40th birthday and recently added more. our eldest son got inked last year. i’m be going back for “sleeves” later this year.

“tramp stamp” – love it. I have to tell my husband that. He has that same opinion of the back tattoo.

I have one on my chest above my breast, to the side a little. I wore a lowish-cut tank top when I had it done. It is placed where I can cover it very easily, but I can also show it if I wear the right cut shirt. My favorite cut lets it show just a little.

The trick would be to have something that will not get too misshapen. I have a morning glory. It seems to be holding up okay, even though it is more elongated than it once was.

When I had it done (I was 23), I mentioned to the receptionist that I was concerned about how it would look when I am old. She said if I live that long, that will be the least of my concerns.

Your never too old for a tattoo. I have one for each of my children. Each wrist, right ankle, right boob (no not nipple), left shoulder, back of neck and behind ear. Each has it’s own meaning! And the whole needle scare, they are so small, tell your husband to give your arm a snake bite like kids do and that’s about what it feels like at the point of the twist.

If they don’t hurt, how come people get drunk before getting them?

I like the snake idea! Thats perfect for you! Your bite is worse than your bark… And of course it’s gonna hurt a little. Its a NEEDLE. But its not that bad. The tat that I just got takes up the entire lower isnide of my arm…took an hour and a half but you just go numb after awhile =0) and I wouldn’t recommend your martinis before unless you want to be a BLEEDER. BTW lovin my Monroe although the ball fell off in bed this morning. That was an interesting hunt. One hand in my mouth holding the back in, one under the covers.

You know, if my friends keep telling everyone that my bark is worse than my bite, I’m going to lose all of my ability to occasionally engage in bitchiness without it coming as a surprise to folks!

No martinis before hand, got it. I definitely don’t want to turn into a bleeder.

If you make it small, then you could do worse than go with a serpent theme on the ankle. It won’t deform much as you age; you can hide it with socks strappy shoes or dark nylons, or dress it up with an anklet.

Probably better to fantasize on all your options, than to make just one of them a reality though.

A responsible tattooist wouldn’t allow you to get one when you’d been drinking anyway.

Kate, I know this probably goes without saying, but along with what you’re getting, you want to be careful about who you have do it. Ask them how often they autoclave things, check to see what kind of ink they use, and my personal favorite, watch them working to make sure they are using gloves & stuff. I’d also personally ask the tattooist to draw, on the spot, what they were going to be drawing on my skin; the last thing you need is a badly traced pattern tattoo.

You should get the obvious: a martini glass with an olive. Now I would never presume to suggest where you put it, that’s up to you, but I had a little black cat tattooed on my upper arm and it didn’t hurt a bit. I did it when I was 33 – also a bit older than the general demographic.

The great tattoo debate… I have two, one on my pelvic flat and one on my lower back. I chose each for their significance. One is a unicorm from my tarot deck; she represents finding your true path. My other is a tribal inspired sun for my daughter. I agree that a name tattoo is a hugely bad idea. I’ve known my husband for 17 years and I have never once considered tattooing his name anywhere on my body.
My main suggestion is that you find a theme or idea that has meaning to you both and run with it.

Don’t do it. Ewww.

LOL. It’s a good thing I haven’t gone to get one yet, then, huh?

Love the martini idea but, well, I’m not sure I want to put one ON my body.

A thin snake, though, I’m definitely leaning in that direction. Without initials. Y’all have scared me away from that notion!