Blogging will be light this week as I go through the next phase in my dental ordeal. This week, they’re replacing the “flippers” with temporary bridges.

I’ve been saying for weeks that I couldn’t wait to be free of the discomfort and awkwardness of the partial denture-like flippers, but this morning when they put the upper temporary bridge in, it looked so awful that I practically begged to have the flipper back! Tomorrow they’re putting in the lower bridge — and I’m praying that it looks better than the upper one does.

The dentist has assured me that since these are only temporary, they won’t look nearly as good as the permanent ones since the temporaries are made of acrylic whereas the permanents are porcelain and thus both more translucent and natural-looking. They’d have to be better looking — right now, my teeth look about as real as the vampire teeth kids wear for Halloween.

Tomorrow when I climb back into the dentist’s chair, it’s going to take quite a bit not to break into tears. I’m going to have to ask him to reduce the crowns on the canines — they’re almost as big as the two front teeth, and so square-fronted that the entire bridge looks like a row of Chiclets.

If it weren’t for the Vicodin he prescribed (and which I’m about to chase with a very dry martini), I’d be ready to kill right about now.

Hopefully by Wednesday, I’ll have better news — and maybe even “Halfway There” photos — to share with you.