Why Short Women Live Longer
I’m short. I’ve always been short and I always will be. Now that I’m in my 40s, I’ve had to also accept that I’m just going to get shorter… which is almost unimaginable for someone barely 5′2″.
For years I’ve had to live with the knowledge that the typical male fantasy involves women of Amazonian height… women whose legs are, let’s face it, as long as I am tall. Until my daughter grew taller than me, I had to endure the humiliation of standing on step-stools to get glasses out of my kitchen cupboards. Soon I’ll be asking my 7-year-old to fetch the flour from the top shelf for Mommy because he’s closing in on my height, too.
In other words, I’ve spent the majority of my life with my nose at most folks’ armpit level, being bumped and jostled in crowds, having to wad my coat and sit on it in movie theaters and enduring numb legs thanks to most bar stools being so high my feet can’t touch the floor. Being short has, needless to say, pissed me off quite a few times.
So it’s no surprise to me that a recent study shows short women may live longer than the rest of you.
In fact, given my fondness for sharp, shiny things, it makes perfect sense: my face is right at your chest-height and you can’t see me coming.
Remember that the next time one of you overgrown mutants feels tempted to ask “How’s the weather down there?” M’kay?
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And now we know the real reason you bought the Ginsu knives. The personal flesh wound was just a hazard of practice?
Oh, dang. Busted!
Venomous Kate’s last blog post..When D.J.s Get Dumped
Ummm, what’s the life span of a fat girl that’s 5′5′???
Lori’s last blog post..It’s My Party and I’ll Dance if I Want To
Bet it’s longer than a fat one three inches shorter.
Venomous Kate’s last blog post..When D.J.s Get Dumped
I’m 4′11″. I am envious that you surpassed the 5 foot mark.
Rose’s last blog post..Whuh?
I think this is the first time in history that anyone over the age of 9 has envied my height. Thanks, Rose!
Venomous Kate’s last blog post..When D.J.s Get Dumped
That totally reminds me of a joke that I’m going to keep to myself, because I’m afear’d that you probably reach right through my monitor and slap my head. Repeatedly.
And I’d deserve it!
Craig’s last blog post..Somewhere Over This Curve, Way Up High
If it has to do with placement of your dinner plate and remote control, you’re right.
Venomous Kate’s last blog post..When D.J.s Get Dumped
Oh, I’m in luck, then. The one I was thinking about was drinks and ashtrays.
I keed, I keed. Don’t slap me, please!
I kind of sense you’d enjoy that, Craig.
Venomous Kate’s last blog post..When D.J.s Get Dumped
Usually I have to pay for it, so I do appreciate a freebie now and then.
Well, usually I get to go shopping afterwards. So pay up.
*sigh*
So I’ve had to go through my life being the tall gawky one… the girl who couldn’t find pants long enough when everyone else had hems dragging the floor (mine looked like odd capris - which is why the current capri fad holds zero appeal to me) the one who can’t find winter coats with sleeves long enough unless I buy mens. The one who had to stand in the back towering over the boys in class pictures while all the cute tiny girls got to sit up front.
Now I don’t even get the longevity gene. That figures. Heh.
Teresa, I can’t pull off the capri look, either. They’re always too long, so I wind up looking like I’m wearing high-waters. If I could give you every half-foot of fabric from every pair of pants I’ve had to get hemmed over my lifetime, you could tack them onto yours and we’d both be set!
Venomous Kate’s last blog post..When D.J.s Get Dumped
Don’t lump all of us men into the amazonian-loving category. My wife is 5′2″, and I don’t think I ever seriously dated a woman whose head I couldn’t rest my chin on.
Short women are just hot, and apparently they last longer too.
Plus, we travel easier in cramped cars.
Venomous Kate’s last blog post..When D.J.s Get Dumped
As someone even shorter than you, I just had to come over and clap. *clap, clap, clap*
Cass’s last blog post..So that’s why they call it Facebook
It’s annoying being an adult and still being treated like we’re merely overgrown children, isn’t it?
Venomous Kate’s last blog post..When D.J.s Get Dumped
So umm how IS the weather down there
Cloudy, with a high-pressure system moving your way.
Venomous Kate’s last blog post..When D.J.s Get Dumped
I’m short too. 5′2″ eyes of blue, oh what those five feet can do!
okay now that the song’s out of the way…
I knew a very short girl once. She went out exclusively with very tall men - over 6′4″.
Her father said, Ruthie, why do you go out with such tall men?
She actually said to her father, to his face yet:
“They’re all the same lying down.”
kimsch’s last blog post..Daylight Saving Time
I’ve always preferred taller men, too. There’s just something about being 5′2″ish and still making a tall man look UP to you.
Venomous Kate’s last blog post..When D.J.s Get Dumped
Yep. All depends on who’s on top it do.
kimsch’s last blog post..$1,500 Fine for Tiny Plastic Bags
Definition of control freak: being on top even when you’re not.
Not really having thought about it much before now, I can say that size matters. Neither is better, tall is just different than short.
I spent many years in a relationship with a lady who identified herself as 4′11″ and a half. She was a lot more fun than those 5′11″ and a half volleyball amazon types. I did have to be more careful when carrying her around, but let’s just say she was worth the extra attention. And when I drove, she got comfortable by dumping her heels on the floor pan and putting her feet up on the dashboard. I have always envied her that.
…size matters. Neither is better, tall is just different than short…
Sure, Ram. I’ll agree with that. But then again, I used to sound as similarly agreeable to a 3.5″ man as I do to VH.
But let me put it this way: would any woman put up with AS MUCH testosterone-induced stupidity as I do if it size didn’t really matter?
I don’t think so.
I (heart) short women. My first wife was 5′4″, my current wife is 5′2″.
Also, you never have to worry about accidentally banging your head… on anything… ever. Deliberate headbanging is your own fault.
Sincerely,
A 6′4″ overgrown mutant.
ben’s last blog post..We can see music’s future
You, sir, are a credit to your gender.
I once (well, actually, more than once, but it didn’t last) dated a woman four foot nine. There were moments when - well, let’s just say there were moments when.
CGHill’s last blog post..It hurts when I do this
I’m so not touching that, Chaz.
Obviously, that’s not something SHE said.
Red had a friend in high-school who stopped growing at 4′9″. She used to walk around at parties with a beer on her head and say she was a perfect 10. lol
Red’s 5′3″, and I have to say I think that’s just about right for cuddling and all sorts of other unsavory and probably thoroughly immoral purposes. As the song says,
36 - 24 - 36?
heh Only if she’s 5′3″
wg’s last blog post..Why didn’t Darwin talk about this?
I haven’t heard that song but I like it.
You might not, Sir Mixalot “I like Big Butts”.
Don’t really picture you as the rap aficiando, but it was a funny song
Oh, I know the song, Ed. I was teasing WG. He has a habit of mentioning that song often because he knows it turns into an earworm and I wind up getting the dang thing stuck in my head all day.
Every. Single. Time.
This one’s no exception.
BWAH HA HA HA HAAA!!!!!
wg’s last blog post..This one’s for Dad
Oh, I’ll get you back, my pretty. And your little dog, too.
Damn! Im in the 40’s too lol with going to the gym I feel the best I have felt in my life,theres nothing wrong with short women they are sexy too.I havent heard the “hows the weather down there ” in a lot of years
I tend to hear it only from people I never plan on speaking to again.
I suppose that I would be considered short at 5′7″. Most of the women I dated back in the day were my height or shorter but it was never a consideration on my part. Of course, I ended up marrying a woman who is 5′11″. Doesn’t bother me any but when we have pictures taken she always positions herself to not appear to be towering over me.
Both our sons are now over 6′ and they think it quite amusing that they are quite taller than their dad although I am quick to remind them that no matter how short or how old I am, I can still kick both their asses.
metal dad’s last blog post..Inspirational Quote for the Day
Bonus points if she looks like Katie Holmes.
My grandmother was aprox 5′tall on a good day with a strong tailwind. But when she got the metal fly swatter out, us young’ens (even when we passed 5′5″ long time back) were no match for her forearm or backhand for that matter. And she lived to be 96 so there may be something to the long lives for those women who measure up just fine in every area that matters.
A good forearm is the great leveler.
My great-grandma was kinda like that….tough as old shoe leather. None of her grandkids or great-grandkids wanted to mess with a 101 year old woman who, in my presence, twisted so hard on a mason jar of home-canned pears that she broke the top of the jar off.
Scary.
wg’s last blog post..This one’s for Dad
Is it just me or does the juxtaposition of WG’s comment and his blog post title seem hilarious to anyone else?