G-Strings Now Second String To Granny Panties

by Venomous Kate

According to the Daily Mail, we have Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks — she who put the va back into va-va-voom! — to thank for the return of the Granny Panty. Thus saith the Mail:

Up to twice the size of normal knickers, waist-nippers flatter the hourglass figure by trimming in a woman’s stomach and pushing out the hips and breasts.

As they say, a picture speaks a thousand words and thus we have Exhibit 1:

Now, as a woman of what we’re going to call “ample proportions” (because I said so), I am happy — nay, THRILLED — that Granny Panties are back in style. Why? Because it means, more likely than not, that high-waisted jeans (also known as Mom Jeans) are most likely to return next. And that, my friends, means an end to that whole skanky tramp stamp or thong show (for which we all have Monica Lewinsky to thank).

Most of all, it means an end to the muffin top though, sadly, not necessarily an end to the type of people who don’t mind them.

Now, don’t get me wrong: it’s not like I’ve been holding my breath waiting for this to happen. It’s not like I have a vacuum-sealed bag of Mom Jeans just waiting to be returned to good graces in my closet, or like I’ve got a drawerful (no pun intended) of Granny Panties I’ve been dying to wear. Though I do.

I just couldn’t pass up a chance to write a headline like that. Seriously, can you blame me? I crack me up.

6 Comments to “G-Strings Now Second String To Granny Panties”

  1. Christina Hendricks. Fell in love with her as Mrs. Reynolds in Firefly. One of these days I really have to rent the first season of Mad Men.

    Finally. Real sized women are coming back. As a young man who was dating my daughter a long time ago once said at just the right time, “Meat is for the man, bone is for the dog.”

  2. Now thats some boo-tay

  3. It’s not like I have a vacuum-sealed bag of Mom Jeans just waiting to be returned to good graces in my closet

    Ha, neither do I!! I’m actually still wearing mine!!

  4. At least half of my underwear drawer is filled with granny panties, which are far more comfortable than the hip huggers (which don’t really HUG my hips but, instead, slide down) and certainly more comfortable than my Special Occasion Thong (which pretty much feels like wearing dental floss). Even so, I still find myself cringing every time I reach for them.

  5. She’s a curvy one, isn’t she?

  6. Ah, Mrs. Reynolds. That’s where I recognized her from!!!!