1. I smoke to keep my hands from around other people’s throats. And you?

2. Bloggus interruptus?

3. Paris Hilton is not that smart.

4. Evidently, Oklahoma’s governor does not understand the 22nd Amendment.

5. Brian wants you to caption this.

6. Now here’s a sponsored post you’re sure to love!

7. I’ll answer for Fred and hope he doesn’t mind: because if everyone were this selfish, the nation would be run by those who have nothing better to do.

8. Hurry up and grill something!

9. Hey, what he said!