Since we can’t avoid Mondays, we might as well find something to enjoy about them. So, here are your Nine Nibbles Before Noon:

1. Why feel guilty over that time you photocopied your bare butt on the office Xerox machine? After all, it’s Art!

2. News flash: sex makes you feel good. Duh.

3. My Sleep Number Bed remote control; four books I’ll read after I finish the one I’m reading; Kleenex; a lamp; a half-empty can of Tab soda; and a box of wax ear plugs because my husband snores. Thanks Punctilious.

4. Ah, a Porsche for the Baby Boomers to buy their kids when the Boomers themselves get too old to drive.

5. Thanks to Alison, I’ve learned a few things about myself.

• venomous kate is a martini
• venomous kate is having a big week
• venomous kate is watching you
• venomous kate is licking at my heels

6.

Take the Star Trek Quiz

Thanks Kelley!

7. Personally, I want my breakfast to taste like Eggs Benedict.

8. If Al Gore’s new TV channel is anything like him, I have big hopes that it’ll cure my insomnia.

9. Now this is a Roe v. Wade argument I’m happy to get into!