Today is National Relaxation Day. I’d celebrate by remaining in my PJs all day, but I did that on Monday. Skipping chores and oversleeping’s out, too: that was me yesterday.

Since our local weatherman is predicting this to be the hottest day of the summer thus far — over 101 F, they say — it’s just too hot to do much in the way of celebrating National Relaxation Day.

A nap? Sure, I’d love one but it’s our first week back-to-homeschool so chances are I won’t get that chance. Yoga? A long, solo walk this evening? A little time puttering around in the garden? Nah, that all sounds like work to me and that, really, is the antithesis of relaxation.

But wait, isn’t it also National Failures Day? See, now, that’s something I can celebrate: my failure to do anything to mark National Relaxation Day. Or does such a celebration mean actually having succeeded at failing and, therefore, having violated the spirit of National Failure Day?

Oh, the mind. It reels.

Maybe I ought to head back to bed.