He Who Smelt It Dealt It

by Venomous Kate

Yesterday, picking my son up from school, I had to wait while he finished a conversation with a friend. It went like this:

Son’s friend: (farting loudly) “Wow, that was a good one! Can you smell that?”
Son: “Dude, you’re not supposed to fart in front of other people unless you’re married to them! ‘Cuz wives are nice people, and they’ll love you anyway.”

So, word to the Venomous Hubby: we’ll be having chili with beans for dinner tonight. See how much I love you?


7 Comments to “He Who Smelt It Dealt It”

  1. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! There was a point several years ago that my husband banned me from ever eating beans again. But then he forgot… 😉

  2. I’m not supposed to have raw broccoli. Same reason.

  3. In our house, don’t feed my sweetieheart anything with gluten, and don’t feed the teenagers … period. I forget what makes me “whifty”, but I am sure Deb would have an idea or two. If we had a dog things would be much easier…always blame the dog for odors of a ripe nature. Worked for us when we were growing up, the dog always got the blame!

  4. LOL, Guy. When we were first married, VH and I had a mini-dachshund named Buddy who had a horrible gas problem. He was an adorable dog (spirited, but not clever) and loved being in our laps, but darned if he didn’t fart every time we pet him.

    Well, as I said, we were *first* married, so whenever I had gas I’d call Buddy over to sit in my lap and blame the smell on him. I thought I was very smart doing that, but apparently VH knew all along who was to blame.

    So here it is, nearly 15 years later and a good 8 years since Buddy moved on, and whenever one of us farts we look around the room and say, “Buddy!”

  5. Wow! Our dog was a “standard” black and tan doxie!! His name was Baron J Dog, Baron for short. He also was spirited, but when out chasing squirrels …well they just pointed and laughed…rather sad really. Anyhow, he could SBD with the best of them, and we used this to our advantage as well…”Hey it wasn’t me!! It was Baron!! As if on cue, he would get that guilty look, and slink under the coffee table. He was a good ol dog, and resides under one of moms lilac bushes in her back yard. Bet Baron and Buddy would have been a pair!

  6. I bet that’s one beautiful lilac bush! God rest ye merry, gentle pups, Baron J Dog and Buddy!

  7. BTW, the “J” didn’t really stand for anything. But Dad’s middle initial was “J” so we felt Baron should have the same one! So it stuck.