John McCain: Not As Old As Dirt

by Venomous Kate

So much ado is being made of John McCain’s age and, granted, he is old. Old enough, in fact, that I wouldn’t be surprised to learn his high school diploma was issued on a stone tablet. Or that his first Christmas really was the first Christmas. And his Social Security number probably only has three digits.

But let’s face it: for an old guy he’s still looking pretty darned good. Unlike many men his age, his head still has more hair than his ears. Besides, what can better guarantee the U.S. will never launch nuclear weapons than a President too old to remember the launch codes? At least we won’t have to worry about him chasing interns around the Oval Office because, at his age, he’d probably forget where he was going.

Even so, it’s important to remember that there really are some things younger than John McCain.

11 Responses to “John McCain: Not As Old As Dirt”

  1. And his Social Security number probably only has three digits

    LMAO! We used to joke with an old (I mean old) boss of mine that his SSN was “ought six.” Heh.

    Let’s not forget that he’s been through some horrific shit and torture to his very own person and he survived. He can take four years of a Democratic congress.

    Oh, and a picture of a naked-from-the-waist-up Nicholson was NOT the way I wanted to start my day.

    I will never NEVER understand why he was such a Hollywood Lothario. Oh wait. Big schlong and power. That’s gotta be it.

    Margis last blog post..Add this to the things I just don’t get:

  2. Ditto about the photo of Nicholson… ewwww!

    I’m older than some of the things on this list too, the 5 (and 9) digit zip code, for example. However, I’m younger than duck tape and the same age as WD-40. Consider: all my life the tools to fix anything have been available ;-)

    A few days ago, before news of Kennedy’s brain tumor, I blogged about a NYTimes story on how an older brain becomes a wiser brain. The older I get the more I think this is true!

    Donna B.s last blog post..Happy and Sweet Grandchildren

  3. That is a funny site. Maybe someone should come up with ‘companion’ sites, such as…

    blackerthanobama.com
    morefemininethanhillary.com

    And so on… :-)

    davids last blog post..Linkage

  4. I got dibs on BiggerBallsThanBill.com. ;P

  5. Uh, Dave? The morefemininethanhillary.com would have one – COUNT ‘EM – one post only:

    “Everything.”

    Bwah!

    Margis last blog post..Add this to the things I just don’t get:

  6. I watched him on “Ellen” this morning.

    And no, I usually don’t watch her but look, I was bored out of my freakin’ mind, ok??

    Anyway…he did pretty good, as far as entertainment value but when he started talking politics, all I heard was “blah blah blah”. The usual.

    Slicks last blog post..Hard Workin’ Man….

  7. I’m blogrolling you right NOW!

    Donna B.s last blog post..Better Solar Technology From IBM

  8. LOL. Good thing I just bought that one, eh?

  9. Best thoughts about McCain being old:

    1. He was an ace pilot in the war. In fact, he survived at least one dogfight with the Red Baron.

    2. He went to junior high school with Strom Thurmond.

    3. If McCain loses the election, he could team up with Bob Dole on those viagra commercials.

    4. If they make another ‘Indiana Jones’ movie, McCain could play himself in it.

    5. He thinks of himself as a Republican maverick, like Teddy Roosevelt. In fact, the truth be known, McCain really is Teddy Roosevelt.

    6. McCain had a chance to sign the Declaration of Independence, but he decided to steer an ‘independent’ course and try to reach across the aisle to the British instead.

    7. McCain is against torture. He became convinced it doesn’t work during the Inquisition.

    8. McCain, as a teenager, used to baby sit Ronald Reagan.

    9. McCain’s confusion over which Muslims are the Shiites and which are the Sunnis is understandable. He’s used to thinking of them all as Saracens.

    10. McCain has recently been speaking out against Global Warming. He remembers how hard it was for everyone the last time the ice sheets melted and flooded the land bridge to Asia.

    11. And finally– Al Gore may have invented the internet, but McCain has never been properly credited for his invention of the fishing net.

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