President-Elect Obama and His 10 Inaugural Balls

by Venomous Kate

I’ll say this for President-elect Obama: he has balls. Ten official balls, at last count, where he’ll personally be on display. Who knows how many unofficial ones there will be?

But here’s the thing about Obama’s balls: they’re big. And while his staff claims he’s got the first-ever Neighborhood Ball, the neighborhood around the White House pretty much threw their own ball when they stormed the president’s house after Andrew Jackson was elected. (His balls were apparently too small for their liking.)

Of course, taxpayers need not fret: we’re not footing the bill for Obama’s big balls. That’s the job of the Presidential Inaugural Committee, which has been busily raising funds to fete Obama’s balls. Sure, actors and other artsy types are happy to fork over $10,000 per head for one of Obama’s balls — and Oprah hasn’t named her going rate yet — but even those steep prices don’t cover the entire expense associated with his balls.

Taxpayers will pay in part for Obama’s balls by footing the bill for House and Senate members to plan the inauguration and balls, by paying for the preparation of alternate locations in the event of inclement weather, by paying for the archiving of documents relating — however tangentially — to the inauguration itself. Oh, and we’ll also pay for the massive security force (Secret Service, Capitol Police, U.S. Army, Marines, Navy, Air Force, and Coast Guard) needed to not only secure D.C. and the various environs of Obama’s balls, but to also screen each and every individual who personally attends Obama’s balls.

Perhaps this is what Michelle Obama meant when she said Obama would make us work? Even though she may have warned us, it’s rather infuriating to realize we, too, are now tasked with the responsibility of supporting Obama’s balls although few of us can afford our own. And, meanwhile, we’re all getting the shaft.

22 Responses to “President-Elect Obama and His 10 Inaugural Balls”

  1. I love reading your post because it shows such a different point of view from my own. I voted for Obama and I like him, but it does seem that a lot is being spent on him and a lot more people are keeping a much closer eye on it then before.

    I do wonder how much other presidents spent on their balls and everything else that goes with starting the job.

  2. Yes, Kate, the song was playing in my head the entire time I was reading this post. :)

  3. If you included legal expenses, I’d bet Bill Clinton spent more on his balls than most Presidents.

  4. Haha…So is ACDC playing “big balls” at one of the Balls?

    Had to ask…

  5. Barack Obama, spending 20 years in Jeremiah Wright’s church, listening to anti-white hatred day after day does not qualify him to be president of the United States.

    Barack Obama, someone who believes in murdering helpless unborn babies by abortion should not be president.

    Barack Obama who believes in desecrating Holy Matrimony by allowing sodomites to blaspheme God by getting married should not be president

    SAY THIS PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I am a sinner and am headed to eternal hell because of my sins. I believe you died on the cross to take away my sins and to take me to heaven. Jesus, I ask you now to come into my heart and take away my sins and give me eternal life. http://www.armyofgod.com

  6. I would love for Obama to succeed, really. But the dictates of our society state that faith and politics should be separate. I have no faith in any politician, so it’s kind of moot. I’ve got to think that this whole dynamic is so much larger than one man or woman is capable of guiding/molding/fixing, etc. It’s bigger than the political party (does anyone believe that there is really more than one?). We will throw absolutely staggering amounts of resources at this “problem” and wonder why things are not getting better. And then folks will be blaming Obama’s balls (or lack) for their predicament. And then their will be a new set of balls on the block. Bah.

  7. This is a ballsy post.

  8. It’s made me a little testy…

  9. I literally have big brass ones. Two of them, and they’re safely tucked away in a desk drawer next to my husband’s.

  10. Um, to be clear: he owns a pair of brass ones, too. I bought them for him. Seemed at the time like the least I could do.

  11. Jeff, they have drugs for that now. :-)

  12. Hmm….wonder if the tax payers paid for the food tester bushie used…?

  13. OMG! What bloody pixs one of your poster has on his/her site! If they believe fetuses are full human beings, then these look like snuff pixs to me! How disgusting. Does no one have any respect? Especially those who claim to have more than others? It’s sacrilegious is what it is.

  14. Thanks Zena! I’d managed to totally erase that commenter’s words from my mind. Now I blame you for making me go look! The pix will be harder to erase :-(

    Warning everyone! Don’t click on that link!

  15. Rev. (sic) Spitz’s opinion on the beliefs of others should carry no weight whatsoever. He uses his own website to try to make heroes out of murdering terrorists like Paul Hill, Eric Rudolph, John Salvi, and James Kopp. He is so delusional that he thinks that he was ordained by the International Gospel Crusade, a denomination that only exists in his imagination.

  16. You are in exceptional form here. I would rather die laughing than die paying for Obama’s balls.

  17. Thank you! It’s amazing what a long day, after a night of sleep deprivation, can do for one’s wit.

    Also, a martini.

  18. How are thes people allowed to do this after the first term of pregnancy? Some of these babies look like they were only weeks away from birth. Pixs like these are certinly not “GODLY” These pixs are shameful at best and only support the fact that PEOPLE are evil. I’m not a “Bible Thumper” in fact I haven’t attended a church in 20 years but these “partial birth” abortions should be illegal! I’m not saying to stop abortion all together…but at some point you must draw the line!! after the first trimester, barring life threatning circunstances, if you don’t want the child, put them up for adoption…there are many people WANTING children. I feel sick…How do you live with yourself after this? This web site is shameful…God have mercy on these people…They really need it along with the murdered babies they exploit!

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