Who’re You Calling Typical?

by Venomous Kate

I’ve said before how tired I am of being made to feel guilty for having been born white. Mostly it irritates me because I’m not white: I’m more peach-colored, thank you very much.

So, frankly, I take a bit of offense being lumped in Barack Obama’s now-infamous reference to the “typical white person”. Or, at least, it would irritate me if I didn’t live in Kansas and think these Typical White Person t-shirts were so damn funny.

36 Comments to “Who’re You Calling Typical?”

  1. I’m in St. Louis and I thing they are awesome. I might have to get me one of those. LOL

    Kristen’s last blog post..I Broke My RSS Feed

  2. I’m not white either. I think I am more “bisque” but it does depend on the time of year. In the summer I am more of a “moccasin” or perhaps a light “khaki”. Man, this is starting to sound gay(not that there is anything wrong with that).

    Regardless VK, I am pretty sure that you are not typical at least as I know the meaning of the word. Have a great weekend!

    Bryan’s last blog post..Folding Guitar

  3. You’re color/hue discernment was worrying me there for a minute. But I’m pretty sure you’re not typical, either.

    Happy weekend!

  4. Yeah, we whities are unique like a snowflake, but still white.

    CH’s last blog post..Poetry palaver

  5. They’re cute, aren’t they? My BFF Kim from Musing Minds deserves all the credit.

  6. Unique, yes, but I hear none of us can dance or pick out a decent pair of shoes.

  7. Obviously it’s a symptom of the white power structure that we can laugh at it.

    Anyone remember the collegiate intermural team that named itself the Fightin’ Whities to make a point about offensive mascot names, only to find that the whities thought it was funny?

    Brian J.’s last blog post..New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg Vows Sting Operations of Other Cities’ Inspectors

  8. I take umbrage at the idea that I cannot do decent shoes. I have impeccable taste in footwear.

    Terry’s last blog post..My sobriety

  9. I’m more ecru myself. “Flesh tone” bandaids always stand out on my skin.

    wg’s last blog post..Fair warning

  10. Is it just me or does anyone else find it kind of pathetic that the words attached to any statement that have a possible connection to race relations are so scrutinized. Every word can can be twisted and contorted to get somebody’s goat. Oops, goat. I must have meant some kind of slam against some group.

    Jeff’s last blog post..Toddler Lodged In Fat Woman’s Ass: Dies

  11. I don’t remember that, but I do recall when the KC Chiefs talked about changing their name so they wouldn’t offend Native Americans, and also discussed no longer doing the axe chop when the team’s theme song played.

    That didn’t last long.

  12. Out of all the things to find offensive in that, you take offense over the shoes???

  13. Come to think of it, I don’t know anyone whose flesh is “flesh tone”.

  14. No, it’s not just you. This over-sensitization which demands we ignore what our eyes see (as in, that people actually come from different races) defies all logic.

    Which is not to say that I think racial stereotypes are tolerable. I don’t.

    But I’m tired of being called a racist for noticing when someone is of a different race than me.

  15. Yep. Sue me.

    Terry’s last blog post..My sobriety

  16. Screw that. I want to borrow your shoes!

  17. I will take a picture of my shoes. Yes?

    Terry’s last blog post..I am lame!

  18. Well I’m more honey toned myself but Jeff when an old boyfriend greeted me with the words “I thought you were lighter” I wanted to kick his black ass but hey he was stoned. Kate you know its your blush talking girl, you are as white as snow.

    Dee’s last blog post..More Limericks: Obama, Clinton, McKain

  19. one of the things i enjoyed about living on the north side of Chicago was the ethnic diversity. i liked being able to go out and get Korean food at 3 AM if i had a hankering for it. when Mrs. Metal Dad and i were kicking around the idea of moving out to the burbs, i opined that i just didn’t want my kids growing up thinking that everyone was white and drove a mini-van. of course, a year after moving out we bought a van.

    metal dad’s last blog post..Political/Theological Rant of the Day

  20. I think that there is a line that has been crossed. I do not know how to define that line, but I know we went passed it. I have friends of many ethnicities and we’ve joked with each other without offense for decades. Those jokes would have each of us hoisted by our own petards these days. A neighbor (who happens to be black) bought a barber shop (the old school kind). We were all hanging about in the yard and jawing and I asked him if his barbers knew how to cut white hair. Everyone cracked up. If I was a politician, I’d have been run out on a rail.

    Jeff’s last blog post..Toddler Lodged In Fat Woman’s Ass: Dies

  21. Wait for it! The “fun” shoes are lined up.

    Then I will take a picture of the heels.

    Typical white woman. Yep.

    Terry’s last blog post..I am lame!

  22. Major lol here. I think Jeff is gonna be “must” reading from now on.

    Terry’s last blog post..I am lame!

  23. LOL. I actually have several shoe boxes on the top shelf of my closet that have pictures of shoes attached to them. They’re mostly my “once-in-a-blue-moon” shoes that I love but can’t bear to part with. But being short, I don’t want to go reaching up there and grab the wrong box, so I stuck pictures on the outside of them.

    Wish I had a scanner so I could share them with you.

  24. I prefer to think of it as “lily white”. Matches my ass.

  25. We live in such a small town that the “burbs” aren’t at all separate from the “ville”.

    But you can take my minivan when you pry it out of my cold, dead, white hands. I love that thing. It’s like driving a living room.

  26. This made me laugh out loud.

    Kate, you kill me sometimes.

    Terry’s last blog post..Deer dears

  27. I make myself laugh sometimes, too. It keeps the voices in my head happy.

  28. K, dude, you’re even more of a shoe person than I am.

    Boxes in closets with pictures of contents!?

    Martinis and shoes and very similar haircuts, love of makeup also. And smokes.

    HELP! You are me and I am YOU!

    Terry’s last blog post..Deer dears

  29. If you’re me and I’m you, would you mind exercising more and eating less because I’m too lazy to do it.

  30. If crossing the street because someone makes me uncomfortable slaps me with the “typical white woman” moniker, then so be it.

    And the only non-negative comment about Mr. Obama I can make is that I didn’t think the Democratic party could come up with a candidate that scares me MORE than Mrs. Clinton.

    Either way, they both scare the bejesus out of me.

    P.S. I’m more creamy beige.

  31. Well, I think it ultimately comes down to what prompts a person to cross the street.

    I, for instance, will cross the street when I see a group of young men (and sometimes young women) of any color, even if they’re dressed like college prep students who could buy and sell me with their candy money.

    I’m not about to try jostling past kids bent on blocking the sidewalk, nor am I foolish enough to try to walk through their midst in the dark.

  32. Obviously we sit around listening to the Average White Band

  33. I totally don’t exercise. At least you have a husband for that stuff.

    You gave me the best laughs this entire weekend. Thank you. The last time I laughed was when I fell down in a dirty ditch.

    (my life is solitary, yes, and I rely on Venomous Kate for my lols. There, I said it out loud.)

    Laattaygirrl’s last blog post..Water run

  34. I am no longer afraid of young men in baggy pants. I happen to own own of those. They are all bluff. (Well, almost all. Not if they live in the warmer climes of inner cities. And only if they are called Alex and live in Montreal. And he is lily white.)

    Lattegirrrl’s last blog post..Monday?

  35. At least you have a husband for that stuff.

    Yeah, and you can see by the ass how well THAT does for ‘exercise’.

  36. You own a young man in baggy pants?!

    How much do you rent him out for?